When we take the time to ponder deeply about ourselves, it becomes clear that life is essentially a struggle to escape from our inner fears and the expectations that we have projected onto the people and events of the world. In between these anxieties and fears are brief moments of escape where we experience celebration and joy – however, those inner fears and worries are still lurking in the background waiting to reassert themselves once your moment of distraction is over!
In general we don’t like our (or are afraid of) our emotions, due to the fact that they are usually quite negative and hold a great deal of potential to painfully overwhelm us (which we don’t want). On the whole we don’t know how to handle them when they arise, we don’t want to be seen to cry or run away or lose the plot in some manner, therefore, we try to avoid them and push them back down again. Due to the fact that we are not prepared to face them, they stay repressed and these negative fearful emotions begin to accumulate and back-up….. So much so, that for some, they begin to secretly look forward to death as it will bring and end to all of the emotional toil and pain..
Lets be clear here, it is not our thoughts about the fears that cause us any pain, hardly at all, our worries and ruminations are just self talk – It is the emotions that lie beneath them, the emotions that feed these thoughts that cause all he problems.
Over time these emotions build up within us, leading to all sorts of pain, stress, illness and emotional discomfort. In addition the emotions generate hundreds of thoughts in our minds, hundreds of rules to keep us safe form ‘them’ and safe from ‘our emotions’ overwhelming us. We can only see all these thoughts (or should I say hear them?) We can’t see the emotions that lie suppressed beneath them, but they are there, feeding us thought after thought and causing our minds to race, and often, triggering new bad emotions that will in-turn need to be suppressed, and so the cycle perpetuates itself.
If you consider one event from the past that was a little unsavoury you’ll see that just remembering it will kick off all sorts of thoughts about:
- They were wrong to say that….
- It wasn’t fair…
- Why did that happen to me?
- They shouldn’t have done that…
One emotion (hidden unconsciously under your conscious radar) can start an avalanche of thoughts in your mind – all of which you attempt to rationalise and justify – in-line with your beliefs and values of what is right and wrong.
So, if we are going to work smart, you can clearly see that what we need to do is release those underlying painful emotions and the thoughts will just evaporate! To be free of our fears and to silence our minds we need just to let go of the those suppressed and repressed emotions that lie hidden within ourselves causing invisible distress.
It’s not easy, in fact it takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of guidance and advice, however, the internal reward that emotional freedom offers is well worth the effort, you can be trapped or you can be free, the choice is yours! If you would like to explore ways to let go of emotional distress, the Calmness in Mind Program might be worth taking a look at.