Warriors, Settlers and Nomads – Reclaiming the Parts of Your Personality That Got Left Behind

(This blog is drawn from Video 16 of the Calmness in Mind course.)

Within most of us, there are three broad tendencies that Terence Watts described as Warrior, Settler, and Nomad. They are not rigid boxes. They are useful ways of noticing how we move through the world — and what happens when one or more of them gets pushed underground.

The Warrior is the part that wants to act, decide, protect, compete and take charge. It is direct, goal-focused and comfortable with conflict when something matters.

The Settler is the part that values stability, belonging, care and steady contribution. It builds, maintains, looks after people and prefers predictable ground.

The Nomad is the restless, curious, creative side. It wants novelty, freedom, play, exploration and the chance to follow an impulse without everything having to be justified in advance.

In a reasonably balanced person these three can take turns according to what the situation needs. Trouble often begins in childhood when the more forceful or spontaneous sides are treated as inconvenient. Parents, schools and cultures that prioritise being “good,” quiet, careful or compliant can train a child to suppress natural Warrior energy or Nomad playfulness. The Settler traits — niceness, responsibility, fitting in — get rewarded and over-developed as a result.

As adults many people then find themselves anxious, frustrated, low in confidence or oddly stuck. They may be living a life that looks responsible from the outside while a large part of their natural energy has nowhere to go. The repressed Warrior can turn into unexplained irritability, people-pleasing mixed with quiet resentment, or difficulty making clear decisions. The repressed Nomad can show up as restlessness, envy of more carefree people, creative blocks, or a sense that life has become grey and over-controlled.

Anxiety frequently grows in the gap between who we feel we are and who we think we are allowed to be. When dominance, play and spontaneity have been labelled dangerous or selfish, the nervous system stays braced. Reclaiming those capacities is not about becoming aggressive or irresponsible. It is about giving the full range of the personality permission to exist again so that energy can move more freely.

Practical balance looks like this:

– Letting the Warrior speak up, set a boundary or make a decision without excessive apology
– Allowing the Nomad some unstructured time, novelty or creative risk without needing a productivity justification
– Keeping the Settler’s care and steadiness, but no longer using it as the only acceptable way to be

Most people lean naturally toward one or two of the three. The work is not to force an artificial equal split. It is to notice which parts have been under-used or actively suppressed, and to experiment with giving them more room. Small, repeated acts of reclaiming usually produce more change than dramatic personality makeovers.

When these aspects are allowed to operate without constant internal conflict, people tend to feel more solid and more flexible at the same time. They can be decisive when needed, steady when needed, and open to play or change when the moment calls for it. That internal permission reduces a lot of the background tension that feeds anxiety and low mood.

The old childhood rules about which parts of you were acceptable were written for a smaller version of life. Updating those rules is one of the more useful pieces of psychological maintenance available to an adult.