Helping anxious or depressed people to let go of their demons?

I have called this video “letting go of your demons.” By that I simply mean anything that is making you do things that are not good for your optimal well-being.

From my perspective, anxiety, OCD, depression, worry, certain rigid belief systems and the need for control can all function as forms of addiction. My definition of an addiction is straightforward: something you cannot consciously stop. If you were truly in conscious control, you would simply say “stop”, and it would stop. But it doesn’t. That tells us it is being driven from somewhere else — your unconscious programming, some inner energetic influence, external pressure from family or peer groups, or a combination of all of them.

A simple example: before my partner left the corporate world to become an artist and follow her authentic path, it took her six months to hand in her notice. Each time she consciously decided to quit, her unconscious overrode that desire with stories about how she might fail as an artist or how foolish it would be to leave a well-paid job to chase a dream. Of course, once she did it, it turned out to be one of the best decisions she ever made. How could her unconscious mind have known whether it would work or not until she tried? That is simply what the mind does.

The company she worked for developed intelligent digital marketing screens that used face and body recognition to serve highly targeted advertising in real time. It was impressive and, to me, slightly sinister. It was a clear demonstration of how sophisticated behavioural influence has become. Corporations spend hundreds of millions every year on this science because it works. We have been bombarded with messages from parents, school, the state, religion and now sophisticated marketing all our lives. We have been programmed, and we are still being run by those programmes.

The useful realisation is this: if these techniques can influence our unconscious minds from the outside, then we can learn to use similar principles deliberately on ourselves. We can begin to undo programming that is not serving us and install new patterns that do — assuming calmness is the goal.

A simple question worth pausing on: who is responsible for your emotions?

The answer is you. Yet many people forget this, or were never taught how to take that responsibility, or something inside them is still sabotaging their calmness.

People sometimes ask how I can remain relatively calm and content with all the changes happening in the world. My answer is simple. These days I like change. I am no longer clinging to keeping everything the same. I see opportunity in change — a chance to grow and adapt. I have tried to create a life that is less dependent on what I am being told to do and more aligned with what I actually want and what is best for my health and happiness. Back when I had significant anxiety, I hated change, wanted to control everything and followed rules rigidly. Looking back, that was probably a large part of why I had the anxiety in the first place.

I use the word “demons” quite playfully. “Oh, my inner demons got the better of me and I ate all the cookies.” Something inside me that did not feel like the real me made me do something I did not consciously want to do. That is powerful. It is a form of mind control. If you cannot consciously stop something as simple as eating the cookies or washing your hands for the twentieth time, then what other unfavourable behaviours might these little demons be influencing?

A demon can be an addiction. It can be the feeling that you are responsible for everyone and everything. It can be past trauma that is still being held down and quietly influencing present behaviour — for example, someone who experienced abuse in the past finding intimacy difficult in the present. It can be the little eight-year-old ego still running protective strategies that are no longer useful. I use the word generically for any thought or feeling that kicks off an unconscious programme or energetic reaction you do not consciously want.

Everything is energy. Thoughts are energy. People interact energetically whether we notice it or not. Those carrying a higher-frequency, lower-density field (because they have discharged a lot of old emotional charge) tend to calm, inspire and energise those around them. Those carrying denser, lower-frequency fields can agitate or unconsciously try to draw energy from others. Most of this happens under the radar of the conscious mind.

The practical work is to wake up to the fact that these programmes, belief systems and energetic patterns are often driving the show. Once you see them, you can begin the process of letting them go — not by fighting them with willpower, but by changing the underlying programming, discharging the trapped energy, and deliberately installing new patterns that support the life you actually want.

You are responsible for your emotions. You can learn to influence your own unconscious mind. You can stop being run by the old demons and start choosing responses that serve your well-being instead.

The full video is inside the course.