Learning How to Find Trapped Trauma and Repressed Emotions

I’m John Glanvill, author of The Calmness in Mind Process for overcoming Anxiety, OCD and Depression.

Understanding Trauma and Cover Stories

In the last video we explored how we may develop ‘cover stories’ that mask some of our triggers, which are, the trapped energy from past trauma, suddenly being released from the stored kinetic energy in our atomic battery (which actually is a good thing) but we tend to label the experience as anxiety or fear, as the potential energy is converted to kinetic energy, through the agitation of our physical body – like we discussed in video 9.

In this video, I am going to teach you more about how this happens, and what you can do to accelerate your ability to find, understand and then, release this unwanted build-up of stuck energy from within your atoms – accumulated from a life of trying to escape from, or hold down, all types of emotion!

So, this video is Part 1, the explanation phase and Part 2 will be an in-depth meditation teaching you how to find and release trauma.

Using Metaphors to Understand Emotions

As ever, let me use metaphors and models to describe what is happening, rather than getting stuck in conventional medical terminology. Which, as we know, has a bias towards the pharmacological treatment of symptoms, rather than the exploration of preventative strategies – that avoid those symptoms from ever having to manifest in the first place.

And because we are exploring anxiety, OCD and depression, which are symptoms, it is through working on the causes that offer us the greatest chance of recovery.

Categories of Anxiety

Remember too, that the feeling of anxiety falls into two categories, firstly, the resultant emotional energy (the fight or flight) from the triggering of your amygdala by some pre-programmed fear.

Hopefully the exposure therapy you’re doing will be retraining your amygdala and as you freak out less and worry less, your emotional battery will be recharging too, which is good.

Then, the second group of anxious feelings are, in fact, stuck energy being released from your atomic energy battery – which feels like anxiety, but it is just potential energy converting to kinetic energy – which is a wonderful thing and should be encouraged rather than feared.

Challenges in Emotional Recovery

So, as I changed my career from delivering engineering solutions to the delivery of therapeutic solutions – the first repetitive pattern I recognised – was; as people began doing the work, started to feel better and thought they were making great progress, suddenly, they would encounter periods where the anxiety would come back, perhaps even worse than it had been before.

This confused, scared and demoralised them – and it made no sense to me either. I assumed that it was because they had been putting a lot of effort in, they had experienced some positive change, so had backed of from doing the exposure therapy, the meditation and the self-exploration.

It turned out though, that was only half the problem.

In reality, as the individual began to worry less, became calmer and more accepting of their emotions – this ‘calmness’ was interpreted by the atomic battery, as the ideal opportunity for it to begin releasing all the trapped potential energy from past traumas, all the emotions it had been holding down, which, up until that point, it couldn’t release, because it freaked that person out.

The Role of the Atomic Energy Battery

The atomic energy battery, holding the charge from past traumas, makes the body dense and heavy, it slows the vibration of the body, this tires the body, exhausts the emotional battery.

And naturally the body wants to release this trapped potential energy, as kinetic energy – but up until this point, every time it did the person got anxious, couldn’t handle it – and so they pushed it all back down again.

Emotional Progression in Recovery

Let me repeat what I said in my last video – as you rise out of depression; you seem to go into anxiety, which although it feels bad, you have more energy available to you to do things.

Then as you rise out of anxiety, you step into anger, which though still a negative energy has more power than anxiety, so you start saying no, or begin making changes to your life.

Then from the changes you make due to your anger, you feel pride in what you have achieved, which moves you up into the energy level of courage – which is simply the ability to feel vulnerable, yet, get on with doing whatever needs doing for your own wellbeing.

Emotional Responses in Non-Anxious Individuals

A person without anxiety, without depression, might say something like “After I lost my job, I was angry for two days, then I was tearful for a couple of days, then I felt a little better.”

They don’t worry too much if their emotions come up, they don’t give their emotions a story, they are OK being angry, disappointed or sad – and just let those energies arise, they don’t fight them.

They stay out of the “what if” stories about the future and the “if only” stories from the past – like we explored in video 10.

They tend to live in the now, “Let me process the pain of the now out, then I can decide what actions I can take now, that will move me on.”

These are the viewpoints and strategies that anxious and depressed people need to copy and adopt – but the reason they don’t, is because they unknowingly run strategies that endeavour to avoid their pain.

Strategies to Avoid Emotional Pain

So, I think it would be prudent for us to explore the top four strategies people consciously or unconsciously use to avoid feeling bad. That way, you’ll know where to place your focus, to get the change you want.

Suppression

The first strategy commonly used to avoid emotional pain is called suppression; where you consciously decide, to not think about your problem, you push it away, ignore it – which means, something that you know needs addressing, is not being sorted out.

Examples might include:

Knowing you need to change your job but saying, “Let’s wait six months and see what happens?”

Knowing that your tooth needs a filling but saying, “It’s alright, it might go away by itself.”

Or, a friend is being horrible to you and you say, “It’s just the way they are.”

This is you consciously knowing that you are not happy, that there is something that needs addressing, but you are suppressing those thoughts, stories, feelings and emotions – you are not facing, that which you know needs to be sorted out.

You are suppressing the emotions in your body and the stories in your mind – to avoid the pain of the now, be that; fear, pain, loss, fear of conflict, loss of money, status, a relationship, or just a fear of change?

Can you see how you are consciously making the decision, to not make a decision? You are delaying, procrastinating and pushing it away?

The stories may back off a little, the pain may temporarily abate. But they don’t go away, they just hover in the background – bringing in more doubt, slowly agitating you in the background.

Running down your emotional energy battery. Then, as you know, when the battery gets low, your little-eight-year-old steps in to sabotage you to pull you away from life, brings in stories of doubt, sabotages sleep, sabotages relationships, sabotages your memory, increases your anxiety – you know the story – you get tired, struggle to make decisions and begin to doubt yourself.

This conscious strategy, of suppression, to avoid pain or conflict in the now – just doesn’t work!

Expression

The second, but less common strategy to avoid feeling uncomfortable in the now is called EXPRESSION; it’s when you react or get angry, become forceful in the now, to try and make the discomfort of that moment stop as soon as possible.

Dominant, forceful and vocal individuals tend to use this strategy (or those who flip between passive and aggressive behaviours – from victim to aggressor in a few seconds) – they ‘fly off the handle’ they shout, they say – “It’s your fault.”

By exploding or expressing their emotions in this way – forces those around them to ‘walk on egg shells’ or to act in certain ways that stop the individual from feeling uncomfortable in that moment.

Once again, can you see – they are not addressing their fears, just controlling others to not “press their buttons?” No one wins in these situations and it creates an exhausting and emotionally turbulent environment.

Distraction

The third way people try to avoid their bad feelings – and this is very common- is – they distract themselves from their bad feelings by placing their focus of attention on some other activity or pastime.

They become a workaholic, as this distracts them from their pain, they spend hours in the gym focusing on their exercise (which is distracting them from their pain), they spend hours playing computer games (which is distracting them from their pain) – they stare at their phone.

Drugs, alcohol, sex, OCD compulsions, relationships – anything that you can consciously focus on, to distract yourself from your anxiety, fear, pain or discomfort.

However, by avoiding your anxiety, you are not processing it, not discharging your atomic battery – whilst at the same time you are exhausting your emotional battery, by working so hard on whatever it is you are using to distract yourself.

It is an exhausting catch twenty-two loop of distraction, that ‘kind of’ works until you finally collapse, exhausted and confused – and are left with more problems that need addressing, than when you started.

Unconscious Repression

As we continue through this course, I will be teaching you ways to break these three patterns of suppression, expression and avoidance – through increased self-esteem, confidence, understanding who you are really are and finding the courage to accept vulnerability and embrace change – on the way to finding more calmness and happiness.

This video is going to explore the forth way people avoid feeling uncomfortable – and that is through UNCONSCIOUS REPRESSION.

Here, your own unconscious mind – hides from your conscious mind, some traumas that occurred in your past – so you have no memory of them actually happening.

Or the unconscious mind alters your conscious memory of what happened, so, you think you were wronged, when, in fact, it may have been you who did the bad thing. And trust me, as weird as this seems we do this all the time.

So, repression is where your own unconscious mind steps in to mask the traumas from your conscious mind, to stop you having to feel the pain of them.

Of course, though, the pain is still there, the truth is still there, but it is held down, it’s hidden under your ‘cover stories’ – and the energy has been stuffed down into your atoms, into your atomic battery, just waiting for a chance to vent out.

And if we can let it vent out, and just be with it, with no story – this is a huge step forward on your path to emotional freedom.

The Impact of Repressed Traumas

Without trying to worry you or scare you – we all have these repressed traumas, you almost can’t go through childhood without having them installed within you, from something seemingly as harmless as being told off by a teacher in your class, right through to sexual, physical or emotional abuse.

And in this video I am going to teach you how to find these repressed emotions, how to release them and then evaporate your cover stories, which no longer serve you well.

I will be talking more about this later – first we need to learn more about what we are dealing with, so when it is time to search for these repressed traumas we are strategically well equipped!

Sitting with Emotions

So, let’s look at emotions in another way. If I said to an anxious or OCD person, “What I would like you to do is…. Go home, have your dinner, then sit down in your living room at 7:00 pm – and just quietly sit there until 11:00 then get yourself off to bed.”

They would say, “Just sit there, doing nothing for four hours?” I’d say, “Yes.”

“Well, could I watch TV?”

“No.”

“What about reading or using my phone?” “No, just silently and patiently sit there.”

They would say, “I can’t do that, I don’t want to do that.”

I’d say, “Why?”

And they’d say, “Because I’ll get bored or anxious, I’ll start worrying about things – I don’t want to do that.”

Now, to me, this points out two major perspectives that an anxious person needs to address.

Firstly, they need to learn how to sit with themselves and do nothing. To live from the perspective of the observer (or rider of the horse) who knows that “now” is the only reality.

Who is able to observe the horse, the ego, the conditioning (all of which find the ‘now’ boring) so start proposing all sorts of stories about the past or the future – which may make them feel anxious.

Now, because I have done a lot of meditation over the years, it always makes me smile to think that the worst punishment we have in prison, is solitary confinement! Essentially the punishment is “I am going to punish you by locking you away with your own mind for a long period of time!”

On the other hand, people pay money to learn how to sit in silence, monks take vows of silence; Gurus meditate in silence for years, in caves.

They are not worrying about the future or the past; they have no story that things should be any different, from that which they are – in this moment called now!

And the second behavioural characteristic we need to become accustomed to is….

As we sit as the rider, watching our little horsey, is that, whatever emotions rise up, we need to be able to just accept them, be with them and give them no stories – or at least – to separate the emotions from the stories.

To change our own perspective from “Ohhh, I feel anxious, let me distract myself” to “Mmmm, interesting, stuck energy is flowing up through me, wonderful, better out than in…. I can just sit with this.”

I know I am repeating myself here – but until your mind-set can click over to new perspectives, you will always be living as a victim to your emotions and that’s no fun.

Personal Journey with Meditation

When I was doing the work to change myself, to let go of my anxiety and OCD – it really helped me, when an author or a teacher would tell stories about what they went through, how things made them feel, what challenges they faced and how they dealt with them, it made it feel more real to me.

So, in that vein, I am going to tell you about one of my adventures.

Everything changed for me, when I swapped the ‘perceived security’ (and denied stress) of my job as a sales director of an engineering software company – for the freedom but ‘perceived insecurity’ of running my own therapy practice.

I made the jump, changed careers, became a therapist – it turned out to be the best thing I ever did – not only did I discover who I was and what I wanted to do, but also, how I wanted to do it.

During this time I kept working on myself, I had mentors and a prolific book habit, and everybody said to me “John, you need to learn how to meditate!”

Up until that point I had played lip service to meditation, I had sat on courses and read books, but just couldn’t do it, my mind would just get louder and louder rather than peaceful and quiet.

I really, really tried and really, really failed – which made me even more frustrated – because it seemed that everybody else, sitting there like little monks, looked like they found it so easy.

After a year of trying everything, I was on the verge of giving up when I read about something called Vipassana, which is basically one of India’s most ancient forms of meditation – and I think it means, something like, ‘To see things as they really are.’

It is a 10-day silent retreat, with 10 hours of meditation each day, no books, no phones – men and women are segregated, the food is vegetarian, no eye contact and no speaking for 10 days – I think the fancy name for that is ‘noble silence.’

So, I thought, if you are going to learn how to meditate – what better place!

I turned up and there were about 150 people in attendance. The men lived and ate together, as did the women, then both sexes re-joined (but where still segregated) within a large meditation hall.

Before we started, the leader explained a few things – and what stood out in my mind was – he said, If the person next to you, starts to cry, it’s none of your business, let them cry. If you engage with them, you are stopping your own meditation and interrupting their meditation.

Then he said, in the meditation hall, don’t look at the women – and we will be telling the women the same, don’t look at the men.

Then, he reminded us that there was absolutely no talking, no eye contact, no physical contact, no phones, no books, no writing – nothing.

We would be meditating, sleeping, eating or walking for 10 days – all in complete silence!

We awoke at 04:30 in the morning to a gong and wandered over to the meditation hall, I was quite excited because somebody was finally going to teach me how to meditate.

I got myself comfortable, tried not to look at the girls at the other end of the hall (failed) then we began.

We were set the task of focusing on our breath, feeling the air going into our nostrils on an in breath, then re-sensing the air on our top lip as we exhaled.

I expected that process to last for 10 minutes or so, but no, it went on for one and a half hours! My mind was bored after 3 minutes; and it just went on and on and on.

To make things worse, the guy next to me was a fidget and wearing a noisy windbreaker jacket that made funny nylon scratching noises as he moved.

And the old guy behind me, three feet back from my head, I think had some sort of medical condition where he could only breathe through his mouth in a laboured, snoring kind of way and he sounded like Darth Vader!

So by the end of the session, I had gone from being quietly excited, to wanting to tell one neighbour to sit still and the one behind to stop snoring – and that’s before we add in the lady who kept on coughing, the guy who keeps crying and my own mind that was torturing me.

Without doubt, the longest ninety minutes of my life – and all I can hear is my mind telling me – “See, told you, you can’t meditate, just go home, don’t waste any more time.”

We wandered over to the canteen to have our weird, silent, vegetarian breakfast, and then before we knew it we were back in the hall for round two of the day’s seven-meditation sessions.

The teacher said – “Same again!” Another ninety minutes of watching your breath! Then again in sessions 3,4,5,6 and by the time the evening session arrived 10% of the participants had gone home – except Russell and Darth Vader, as the judge in my mind had named my selfish and annoying colleagues.

This had been the, longest day of my life and definitely the most annoying, I so nearly went home myself, however, deep down inside, I knew this was about letting go of what others did, rather than making them the focus of my attention and thoughts.

I stayed, and day two was exactly the same – focus on the feeling of the air going into our nostrils, then re-sensing the air on our top lip as I exhaled.

Although it was still a nightmare, there were small successes where I could keep my awareness on my breath for a few minutes here and there, rather than what Russell and Darth were doing.

A funny thing happened on the second day though, randomly people would just start crying, and one person crying would set off another and another.

By the afternoon, I was managing to hold my focus on my breath for longer and longer periods of time, until, out of nowhere, I just burst out crying myself, for no reason and it was a real sob, coming up from deep within me and for no apparent reason that I could put my finger on.

It’s a strange thing, crying in a silent room, full of people who don’t know you, are not looking at you and are completely ignoring you (well, they should have been!)

As the crying backed off, I felt a lot better, like something had lifted, something had vented out of me, I didn’t know what, but it felt lighter.

Back then, I didn’t know about the atomic battery, how we held trapped trauma in our atoms – and, of course, in that moment my battery had let something go.

Releasing Trapped Trauma

On the third day – we were still focusing on the breathing – when another person started to cry – which started me off again – sobbing and venting another stuck trauma.

This time though, as it backed off a memory was released from my unconscious into my conscious awareness – something I had forgotten about since I was eight or nine, about being nearly trampled and killed by some bulls in a field.

Certainly a traumatic event for young me – and I guess the way my unconscious mind (or my ego) kept me safe was to say “Let’s hide that memory from his conscious awareness, that way he will be able to still function in the countryside.”

That return of that memory – suddenly made sense of the many strange thoughts and behaviours young me had gone through.

Because although the memory had been hidden, when I had gone near large animals like cows and horses, I had always felt very uncomfortable, anxious, even though I consciously knew they were reasonably safe animals.

My amygdala was still firing off from that old installed trauma – pattern matching to large animals – but my conscious mind couldn’t reconcile that fear with any ‘reason’ because my unconscious had repressed, hidden that memory.

So my cover stories, begin to come up, it’s too muddy in that field, I am allergic to horses, it’s silly to trust big animals etc.

Can you see how this works? This is why I talked about ‘cover stories’ in video 14 and why I will be teaching you how to go looking for repressed memories and traumas, which, of course, is hard, because you don’t know what you are looking for!

Breakthrough in Meditation

In the afternoon of day three after something like 25 hours of frustrating meditation – I got the break through I desperately needed.

I closed my eyes, I focused on my breath and this time, it was relatively easy, then after about 20 minutes the teacher said “OK, time for a break” – and I just sat there completely shocked, an hour and a half had passed and it only felt like 20 minutes.

I was stunned; it had almost even been enjoyable!

It then dawned on me what had happened, obviously Darth Vader had gone home and the silence had allowed me to meditate, but as I turned around, there he was, and as I saw him his noisy breathing came back into my focus.

I sat there for a few minutes trying to figure out what had happened, I glanced over to where some of the women were sitting and my judge had a field day commenting on how one woman was wearing the same clothes as on day one, she a big bed head thing going on with her hair – and was now without any makeup, when on day one had been completely made up.

Then the answer then slapped me around the face – the reason for the silence, the gender separation, and the anonymity – was because our ‘egos’ were being hung out to dry.

I looked down and I was wearing the same clothes, I hadn’t shaved for three days and if I had hair, I think it would have been all over the place too.

Our ego’s try to keep us safe by looking ‘out there’ – comparing ourselves to others, making sure we don’t look silly, don’t do something wrong. And for the last three days it had less and less to do, until finally – it backed off, and my attention went internally.

Of course, with my focus internally, I wouldn’t be listening to Russell and Darth – or even have any awareness of time, because time is only an “out there” concept and hardly useful when you go inside and accept that it is always now.

I had read about this in meditation books and naively ‘thought’ I understood the concept, but to actually experience it, was wonderful, shocking and ultimately a complete game changer.

In any moment – was my attention ‘out there’ or ‘in here?’

And remember we are developing advanced skillsets and the knowledge to be able to place our awareness into either realm – our objective “out there” world, or our subjective “in here” world.

Internal Awareness and Sensations

So, by day four I learned how to keep my awareness on my body, rather than my thoughts, where a whole new world of internal sensations, feelings and energies could be experienced – and, with some practice moved all around my body.

As the days passed, the meditations became relaxing and time became less important, a detached concept – then a strange thing happened to me.

I was moving sensations (or energy) around my body – quite freely, but I couldn’t move it through the right side of my breast area. I could go above and below, but not through – Then a year later I found a swelling and needed an operation to remove an egg-sized lump from my right breast.

My body, had of course, unconsciously known something was wrong, but I was still in my infancy of consciously learning to engage with and listen to it.

I was reversing my many years of fearing my body’s emotions – to this new way of being with, accepting and releasing my emotions.

It was as if I finally realised that my inside world was as important, if not more important, than my outside world.

Physical Manifestations of Trauma Release

The last thing I want to share with you, happened over the last few days of the retreat – I was relaxed, meditating, time was unimportant, my focus was internal, what was happening externally was irrelevant, there could have been a war going on out there and I wouldn’t have known – and that was OK!

When suddenly my left hand started to feel tense, like it was throbbing and my fingers very slowly started to move into a claw type configuration, very stiff and tense.

This really surprised me – because I was calm and relaxed, and my mind was silent. I was intrigued as the tension in my hand increased, then relaxed, then slowly increased again.

Then the same thing started to happen with my nose and face, it felt like somebody was squeezing my nose and my whole face would go quite numb.

Prior to the retreat those inexplicable bodily sensations would have bothered me, but now after all this time sitting with my body, I knew this was trauma being released from within me.

I just needed to get out of its way – and make sure I didn’t add any stories, nor let the release frighten me, I just needed to keep my awareness on it and lovingly surrender to it, until it passed, no matter what.

Over the next few days, this continued. It seemed the calmer I became the more it would just automatically begin to arise, like in waves, coming and going.

Then it wouldn’t be there for one meditation session, and then it would return again in the next.

Very occasionally, when a wave was released, a memory would pop into my mind, about school, my family, life – sometimes it made sense, but as ever, I tried to stay out of the stories.

What matters is, we release any stuck energy from past traumas, regardless of the story, or even the truth of any story.

After the retreat one of my mentors asked me if I had ever had trauma to either my left hand or my face and I had, I burnt my hand quite badly when I was young and broke a few bones in it.

And my face had suffered lots of trauma as I had broken my nose many times and when I was young I fell from a bridge and crashed headfirst through a frozen river causing lots of facial trauma, as well as, implanting my amygdala with big fears around water.

He said that, often places where we experienced physical trauma are where the energy seems to be released from i.e. my left hand and my face – and that, often, peoples traumas may be released metaphorically from the type of trauma experienced.

So a woman who was sexually abused may get pain or sensations in her pelvis or stomach. A person who couldn’t run away from a traumatic situation may feel it in their legs, a person who didn’t feel emotionally nourished may feel it in their breasts, a person who feels the weight of responsibility, may feel it in their neck and shoulders, a person who experienced some sort of injustice may experience it through their sinuses (like blocking the stench of a cover up) – and so it goes on.

I don’t think we need to worry too much about where and why (metaphorically or physically) we just need to accept and let the trauma release out from our atomic battery – with no story about the event or the sensation you may be experiencing.

Common Signs of Trauma Release

Over the years, I have seen this venting or release of trauma in many ways – here are a few of the more common ones:

• A numbness

• A heat

• A pins and needles sensation

• A shooting feeling through the nerves

• A clenching or stiffening of muscles

• Bursting out crying

• The whole body physically shaking

• An arm or leg uncontrollably shaking

• Occasionally they may vomit or go through the motion of vomiting but just what feels like energy comes up (That’s a cool one!)

• Strange sounds or gushing air comes up and out of the mouth – scary but its OK if you just surrender to it, don’t fight it, this happened to me, when I had the biggest releases.

• A headache

• A tightness in the face or skull

• Spasms in the back

You get the picture – and in all these moments, the rider sits back, surrenders, stays out of the stories and just lets the emotions flow up through the horse. If it gets too much, you gently calm yourself down with a calm inner dialogue, “it’s OK, we can let this go” and the long slow diaphragm breathing.

If it still overwhelms you – jump into the tapping to calm yourself down, but acknowledge that you have halted the very release that is needed for your recovery, especially from depression.

And for those of you with health anxiety – which is the polite word for hypochondria – the very sensations you fear, may actually be your key to freedom, perhaps they are the wonderful release of your trauma, which unknowingly, you keep distracting yourself from, pushing back down, through suppression, expression, avoidance and repression – perhaps give that some thought -as you start to let go, trying to control everything.

Finding Repressed Traumas

In this last section (and before we jump into the meditation stage that will be covered in the next video.) I want to outline a very important aspect of personal growth work that people often miss.

How can you find a trapped trauma or repressed memories, if your unconscious mind has hidden those events from your conscious mind?

Or if your unconscious mind has swapped the story around, so consciously you think ‘They did something to you’ – when in fact, ‘You, might have done something to them!’

Or what if your traumatic reality is cloaked, under conscious beliefs and nested ‘cover stories’ that may be conscious or unconscious – so you don’t truly know what you are looking for?

I remember an older American psychotherapist friend of mine telling me “John, you’ll never know what the clients real trauma truly is, they don’t even know themselves!

That’s why here in the US people are in therapy for years, they don’t know it, but we just keep them talking about this and that, Mum and Dad, school and friends until one day – Boom!

That entire trauma comes up, they have an abreaction, they sob and shake, sometimes the memory is revealed and sometimes not – but, something within them has shifted, they are different, they are lighter.

He said, it’s a shame we have to go fishing for those traumas by talking about so many things, so often, I wish there was a routine they could use on themselves to find these trapped traumas and those repressed memories.

So this is what we are doing here, finding a way for you to do this yourself, in a structured process, within a meditation that you can use each day, to slowly and gently ‘tease’ your own unconscious into releasing from within you, that which up until now, it thinks it has been protecting you from.

Metaphor for Trauma Exploration

As ever, let’s try and put this process into a metaphor – it’s like being a bomb disposal specialist, looking at a plot of overgrown land – knowing there are some landmines in there – but where?

You are going to have to get a big stick and start prodding all over the land, exploring everywhere, until bang! Found one, then off you go again until every square foot of the land has been tested.

And what if these landmines were nested, for example, one mine was buried under another, it could be that you need to go around a second or third time probing the land to see what’s buried down there.

To me, this is like your conscious mind – wondering, where in the unconscious are those hidden traumas, those landmines we are seeking to unearth, untangle, then lovingly neutralise, via a controlled explosion, venting that pent up stored potential energy, out through the dissipation via kinetic energy which feels like anxiety, but it’s not – how wonderful!

In the next video, I will teach you how to go about finding and safely detonating these land mines from your horse’s atomic body.

Until then, embrace vulnerability, start making decisions, become a little more selfish about what you want and stop worrying about what people may think about you – I think it was Winston Churchill who said, “What anyone thinks of me is none of my business!”

How true!