Becoming more decisive & taking action

Finding the Courage to live an authentic life

I’m John Glanvill, author of The Calmness in Mind Process for Overcoming Anxiety, OCD and Depression.

Welcome – I’m John Glanvill, and this is Video fifty-two – in my Calmness in Mind series – where we explore common-sense solutions for your calmer life.

I’ve called this video ‘Coming up for Air‘. 

And I am asking the question. How might we create the time and space to recharge our bodies, reflect on our needs, assess (and access) our resources, and contemplate what we truly desire from this short and precious life we’ve been gifted?

This will be the last of my long-format videos for a while, though I will be making short videos, animations, and written posts as I take a (well-earned) break to recharge after fifty months of continuous creativity, which has exhausted me; therefore, I’d be foolish to not recharge my six-month emotional energy battery!

I’m going to enjoy the Summer, catch up on all the work that needs doing around my home and garden and deeply contemplate what phase two of this course might look like, as I still have so much knowledge I wish to share with you.

Even though my videos outline hundreds of tools and techniques, one of the hardest questions for a person to answer is, ‘What do I want to do with my life?‘ Or, ‘How might I make it happen?‘

So, I thought it might be interesting to share with you thoughts and ideas about how I went about creating this course and fought my inner demons, thoughts, beliefs and fears, which tried to sabotage me from taking action.

Over the last twenty-five years, I’ve read hundreds of books, watched countless videos, and almost obsessively listened to a handful of teachers whose messages inspired me as they seemed to be living their lives in line with their teachings.

I really like that, because anybody can give advice, most people have an opinion, but did that come from what they were taught, or from a real-world experience of that subject?

So, I enjoy learning from teachers who share their emotional struggles as well as their life successes and connections with nature or divinity.

Therefore, I am naturally drawn to people who are doers, creators, facilitators, story-tellers and (more playful people) who can laugh at themselves and not care too much what others think of them.

They seemed to have discovered that calmness, purpose, happiness, and desire were attitudes that could be developed, and they tried to take responsibility for themselves and their circumstances to the best of their capabilities.

They seemed to perceive the World slightly differently from the average person.

So, in my mid-thirties I began to wonder if I could adopt some of their perspectives to see how it might affect my life and my happiness.

For example; (in an ideal world) I’d like my doctors to be inspiring, healthy, relaxed, and setting an example of how I might live a healthy life.

In my unique, individual (and certainly weird) John Glanvill, idealist inner reality, if I phoned to make a doctor’s appointment and the receptionist said, “Hi John, sorry the doctor is off for two days. He was feeling a bit stressed, so he decided to go fishing. – He’ll be back on Tuesday and can see you on Wednesday, is that OK?”

At one level, I think I’d smile, and think there’s an intelligent person I might learn from.

Surely, it’s not optimal to trust your health (or well-being) to someone who is stressed, overworked, or fatigued – be they a physician, nurse, lawyer, chef, waiter, policeman, air traffic controller or yourself!

If I need to see a doctor immediately and the UK’s National Health Service can’t accommodate me for a week or two, I simply buy a private consultation for a hundred pounds or so.

That way, I get an immediate response, and if an action is required, it’s fast-tracked back into the National Health System, so I’ve sensibly saved myself two weeks and lots of stress.

Now, even though I can’t afford to do this, I do it anyway – because I made the conscious decision to prioritise my attitude towards my health and well-being above my attitude towards financial debt.

This changed my inner iStory from ‘The NHS are responsible for my health’ to ‘I am responsible for my health, and the NHS is one of many options.’

Can you see that taking responsibility for your life starts with evaluating the old stories that run (by default) in your brain, which may be out-of-date or sub-optimal?

Let me give you an example: Last year, Jen needed a very intrusive medical procedure that would have taken around ten months of painful (and stressful) waiting in the NHS queuing system.

Now, I’m not trying to discredit the NHS; the people there (mostly) do a brilliant job; it’s just that the whole process is not done in a very common-sense manner when viewed from a wellness perspective.

However, from the perspective of investing in healthcare-related fields like medical teaching, regulation, pharmaceuticals, logistics, IT systems, PPE, and facilities management it makes lots of financial sense.

So, when I’m handling a big decision like this, I try to detach from my horsey’s emotions and stories of what might be right, wrong or fair (as best I can) – then, I explore my options, then refer to my decision-making hierarchy to form a strategy. 

Because Jen is higher up in my needs hierarchy of decision-making than being in debt, we went private and put that £7000 operation on my credit card. The surgery was then carried out in a first-class manner and within two weeks!

But, here’s my point: thirty years ago, that sort of strategy wouldn’t have even entered my head because I was so brainwashed to just follow the NHS process.

Whereas, these days, I’d worry less about owing my credit card company money (and even paying extortionate interest rates) than the death of my wife or subjecting us both to the horrific metabolic distress of ten months of stressful waiting.

Fourteen days versus three hundred days – that’s seven thousand two hundred hours of fear, worry, stress, anger, and frustration, distressing and exhausting our biological health systems and depleting our natural immunity!

So, even if it takes me two years to pay that off, it’s worth every single penny – because Jen’s well-being is at the top of my needs and decision-making hierarchy, as she is priceless to me!

Of course, there needs to be balance, too – which is why I am striving to build a new revenue stream by creating this course (in addition to my day job as a therapist).

A though I am not naturally driven by money, I should not use that as an excuse to not actively try to earn more money for our convenience and quality of life.

The more financially savvy people know all this, but the average brainwashed person of Slavelandia tends not to think in these ways; certainly, my parents and school never taught me how to think in financially practical ways! 

I truly believe that if people find ways to better understand themselves – and think about who they might wish to become – what they desire to do – and who they’d like to do it with, their decision-making will become far easier.

By asking yourself will this decision (I’m about to make) keep me on my desired compass-setting for who I wish to become and what I wish to do – or will it pull me away and delay me?

Will this action keep me trapped in anxiety and doubt, or will it take my life forward in new ways?

I also think that sometimes people can’t see that, not making a decision (or procrastinating) is actually making a decision – to not make a decision!

And, perhaps, it’s better to flip a coin if you are unsure, but at least do something to address a negative life situation; otherwise, your life will (likely) remain the same – and that continued exhaustion fuels anxiety and depression.

One of my inner mantras is, “Even though the world is forgetting what common sense is – I must not!“

So, following that line of reasoning, I’d like to share with you what’s going on in my brain in the hope that it’ll provide you with some concepts, techniques, and perspectives that might help you find more calmness within your inner reality—regardless of what’s happening in your external reality.

But, of course, what you may need to modify within your inner reality may be very different to mine – because we are all wonderfully unique individuals.

So, let me share with you (as best I can) my thought processes about why I created this course, where I am right now, and what might happen next.

And, of course, how can I know what will happen next? Because anything may happen – as long as I try. 

Hopefully, you’ll catch some tips that might work for you based on how I try to optimise (and balance) the relationship between the (linear and tangible) matter-based needs of my animal body and the (non-linear, intangible) energy-based desires of my Soul. 

And concepts that might release you from limited left-brain logical thinking and open up the power of some right-brain imagination, creativity and connection. 

So, about twelve years ago, I woke up to the realisation that I wasn’t an average human being.

And I don’t mean that in an egoic “How great am I?” kind of way, but in a more subtle manner – I seem to think, feel, intuit, and see life a little differently from others.

(And I think anybody who is naturally attracted to my work is not an average human being, either!)

It’s like I’m wired up differently from the average person,

I think it might be similar to others who might have been labelled with ‘conditions’ such as ADHD, Autism, Bi-Polar, Super-intelligence or Savantism. 

Personally, I don’t think these should be seen as diseases or malfunctions but rather as differing varieties of brain configurations – which (I think) are necessary for humanity to thrive and flourish.

It allows mankind to always evolve by seeing every situation from many differing perspectives, so the more variations the better!

There is a TV show in the UK called “The Undateables.” which follows dating agencies that specialise in helping people with Autism, Down syndrome, or other non-standard brain configurations and matching them with similar (or complimentary) potential partners.

What I love about that show is that it clearly highlights how fundamental the human need to give and receive love is!

And, because those individuals found it hard to enter into relationships, their desire to express all that wonderful inner potential love seemed to get redirected into pets, films, nature and hobbies. 

Or they become deeply and often hyper-obsessive with single subjects like food, ecology, or politics – so much so that they often (fallaciously) believe they can’t love another person unless they, too, share the same passions – thus, they unknowingly reject people who like them and might have made a loving partner. 

Personally, I think we can love the fact that our partner is passionate about something, even if it is not our cup of tea – as long as, they love that we are passionate about what makes us happy – and they encourage us, even if it isn’t their favourite thing!

I think this makes for a good relationship (as long as there is balance and both parties have an interest they love).

The icing on the cake might be if both parties shared similar hobbies, perspectives, beliefs, and intentions – you might say they were aligned in their intentions, but it doesn’t need to be a deal breaker – though anxiety may use it as an excuse.

The show also reveals how individuals with less common brain configurations seem to fall into two groups: the ‘heartfelt and sweet ones’ whose egos are simple and childlike, who just say what they feel and naturally express their love.

Then, there are others who are more childish and are run by their scared little egos.

They narcissistically worry about what others will think of them – if they are wearing the right clothes – and seem to tie themselves into knots of anguish and anxiety – when all they want is to be loved and accepted for who they truly are – but their fearful egos (sadly) won’t let them be that true person.

So, I think a lot of complex anxiety comes from having a slightly different brain configuration – which also includes super-intelligent or artistic, musical and creative people who just see the world differently from the norm yet add value in so many other wonderful ways.

I think, if I were nature, I would have done that too; I’d have engineered it so that around eighty per cent of my creatures were ‘normal‘ and could coexist harmoniously or be herded to fit in as obedient workers delivering services that benefitted the whole.

Then, I’d’ve had the remaining twenty per cent configured in some alternative fashion so they’d think differently; they would be more Nomadic or Warrior (or both) who’d push boundaries and challenge the status quo – so evolution wouldn’t stagnate.

From this small group would probably emerge adventurers, designers, leaders, musicians, entertainers, creators, and imaginative individuals who might influence, challenge, and explore the world around them.

I guess it’s a bit like inbreeding; you need a certain amount of diversity in the gene pool; otherwise, it turns in on itself.

Also (if I were nature), I think I’d factor in a Ying and a Yang kind of thing whereby – rather than seeing change (or evolution) as good or bad, I’d see those events as fast or slow, disruptive or harmonious, evolutionary or revolutionary.

For example, you might see war as terrible, or you might say, look how fast it forces technology to expand, new infrastructures to be installed, money to be raised, medical procedures advanced, and cultures to be transformed.

As always, I am not saying it’s right or wrong; just that there are many ways to observe life once you get out of its content, up into its context, and add a new perspective or two!

Some might even argue that war effectively shortens the timescale of evolution (or change) – be that in a positive (or negative) manner, depending on the value you might receive from what that war changes.

Also, conflict may bring out the best in some people. Perhaps they find courage (their voice) or unite with other communities to affect change, so (from nature’s point of view) there could be many varied outcomes.

Of course, I don’t condone war; I dislike it deeply, but my brain asks questions like – why is there not an intense war – to stop those individuals who wish to go to war – from being allowed to?

I think Albert Einstein famously said, “The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the good people who don’t do anything about it”. 

On the flip side, I’d hate to be in charge of a country. Trying to make everybody happy (and safe) must be an unbelievably hard remit and probably an almost impossible task.

I’d guess that you’d have to control the eighty per cent who would let you control them and marginalise (and silence) the twenty per cent who were different and didn’t like being told what to do.

Anyway, my brain is fascinated with the twenty per cent of the population that feels a bit different – the special ones who see things differently but don’t necessarily understand how to be their true selves.

The type of people who find themselves watching my videos and saying – this guy seems to understand me, even if I don’t understand myself!

And, based on my experience of working with thousands of intelligent people with complex anxiety, I’d guess that many of you are from this twenty per cent of the population, which are simply wired up a little differently from the other (more normal, shall we say) eighty per cent.

And that’s just how it is – and there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe this group are the next evolution of mankind – who knows?

Perhaps when the first monkeys stood up on two legs, the other ones laughed at them and said they looked stupid and told them they shouldn’t do what felt natural to them – to stop being disruptive and fit back in.

I think it would have been hard for those unique individuals to explore and develop their individuality – in a sea of cultural (or tribal) conformity; I imagine they might have felt quite alone (or alien), which, certainly (as a child), I did.

Or perhaps they were lucky enough to actually enjoy being different, being alone or being the centre of attention – or retrained themselves into becoming comfortable with these alternative attitudes.

Either way – there is no instruction manual for this twenty per cent, which I lovingly call the ‘Special Ones.’

And if they didn’t get the right guidance during childhood, they may have exhausted themselves (and unknowingly conditioned themselves) into Complex Anxiety from trying to fit in, please others, follow the rules, be perfect, take responsibility – or from trying to always do ‘the right thing’ whatever that is!

However, they’d usually end up tying themselves up in knots trying to figure out what the rules were – or what the ‘right thing to do was – when, in fact, the rules weren’t written for them; the rules were written for the other eighty per cent – the sheeple or normies as they are now being called.

Very loosely speaking, these special ones can only remain stuck in their complex anxiety bubble in one of a few differing environments – and it might be interesting to ask yourself which of the following you most closely align with.

The first type of people are those who have a codependent family member or partner. This carer may have anxiety (themselves) and worry a lot but are still relatively high-functioning.

They are willing to sacrifice their own well-being to listen to your complaints, answer your reassurance-seeking questions, and tolerate your passive-aggressive emotional outbursts – and they are usually more concerned about you getting help than you are. 

They may fund you so you don’t have to work, support you in staying in a job with less perceived responsibility, or finance you to remain in education.

The second group refers to those who lose the one person who used to love, understand, and support them; this loss affects them so deeply that they deteriorate into reclusive loners, rigid singletons, hoarders or a combination of these and occasionally, body dysmorphia and issues with food and contamination, creep in.

One sub-set of this group – seems high-functioning because they distract themselves from their own pitiful situation by helping others (who are actually in a similar situation) but unknowingly refuse to use those same skills to help themselves – due to intense issues of low self-worth.

The third group are those whose mental illness (or poor life coping skills) which qualifies them for state housing, food and living benefits, which outweigh their current ability to work and earn enough to match or exceed that help – so they are stuck in a victim cycle.

The fourth group consists of high-functioning professionals who make their homes their obsession sanctuaries where they can return to after work to de-stress – but struggle to share that environment with others. 

The fifth group are dominant individuals who have become successful and powerful enough to pay others to acquiesce to their strange and narcissistic needs.

Or they are high-functioning individuals who think they are kind Settlers but have a repressed (and angry) Warrior nature, who head the household and unconsciously gas-light and guilt others into submission and doing what they need them to do.

The sixth group are repressed Nomads, people who (if they had been brought up differently) would have been selfish, expressive, hedonistic explorers, musicians, dancers, archaeologists, researchers and artists who have trapped themselves in restrictive jobs and relationships and need to set themselves free. 

The final group are co-dependant, parent-child relationships, where the adult child feels too guilty to leave the anxious parent to fend for 

themselves, and so begins an ugly and exhausting dance of co-dependency, anger, frustration, control and regret. 

Of course, there are more options, and these are very loosely defined, but you’ll see that if you have complex anxiety, you’ll also need an environment (or mindset) that will facilitate its continuation.

I think this is why, although complex anxiety and OCD are prevalent all around the world, it is rarer in cultures where there are fewer family and social security safety nets – because the family wouldn’t tolerate such behaviour, or they’d be thrown out – or would starve to death by not taking responsibility for themselves!

One more observation about complex anxiety is that, very often, the person has the dominance and control to be rude and aggressive to those who are supporting them; however, are very uncomfortable doing the same to strangers as they have a disproportionate need to be liked. 

Of course, this needs to be reversed as those who are prepared to look after you should be treated with love and respect for putting up with all your drama – and for everybody else, what they think of you is none of your business, and you should let it go! 

So, as I learned this information (much of which was not taught in psychology books or on accreditation courses), I felt compelled to capture and record it so that this twenty per cent might feel better understood and my concepts wouldn’t be lost upon my demise. 

And if we expand my theory, it’s my guess that of the twenty per cent of the people whose brains are wired up differently, eighty per cent would tend to use their talents in ways that were positive, kind, loving, and inclusive, while the other twenty per cent would be more negative, combative, violent, selfish and intrusive.

Once again (to me), this is just how nature seemed to operate; it’s only a metaphor (a model), but it works for me to keep my brain quiet from asking too many ‘why‘ questions about why bad things happen to good people or why people do what they do.

And I think this is nature’s dance between what is good or bad, dark or light, right or wrong, fast or slow – and it just keeps our species’ alert’ – so we don’t become lazy and complacent and keep growing…

So that’s the sort of story I tell myself – that’s the story my rider has programmed into his little horsey’s inner reality to quieten its brain down.

However, if I reflect back to before I knew all this stuff (and if you are under 35 and watching this, you’ve already got a head-start on me) because that was not the story I had running in my brain back then.

It was wrapped up in my angry, victim-based anxiety stories, and my brain was always pessimistically (or fearfully) talking me out of doing things rather than optimistically into doing them.

I was besieged by thoughts about what was the right thing to do, what was legal, what was kind, fair, good, safe, appropriate, blah, blah, blah… Rather than thinking, what was the right thing for me? And what might my Soul need?

Back then, I felt like I had to have a complete plan or fully understand something and learn all the required skills before I could commit to taking action.

I used to think that individuals who appeared to be successful were either fortunate enough to have access to resources such as money, land, and property, or they had natural talent or a clear sense of direction, which allowed them to start working on their projects immediately.

But I discovered that this is not necessarily true; what they did have was, a dream, a desire of how they wished their lives might be, and they took complete responsibility for doing their best to make that desire happen – no matter what their brain was saying or how their body felt.

So, if I back-up a little and step back a dozen years or so, I had desensitised my bodily responses, I had ERP’d my brain into optimism and trust, I had learned where my boundaries of responsibility were – I’d changed my profession, I’d built up a huge amount of experiential knowledge by working with people who had complex anxiety, and I had a deep urge to capture all my knowledge into a book.

But each time I sat down to try and write that book, I struggled to find the true message I wished to express, so I just floundered around procrastinating and frustrating myself.

Should it be about anxiety, OCD, depression, personality types, or relationships? – What about all the books already talking about these things? The options were too broad (and varied), and I kept overwhelming myself with the enormity of the task.

Plus, because I wasn’t a doctor or medically trained in any capacity my brain kept telling me I was a fraud even though I had helped myself (and many others) find calmness when the conventional medical profession had failed.

Other elements deeply troubled me, too, because the four topics which had facilitated the most change in me – were never mentioned in the mainstream, psychology and conventional therapy circles. 

These were:

• Seeing the world as it really was (rather than how I had been trained to see it)

• Developing a Faith that my Soul was eternal and there was more to my life than just this particular brief period between birth and death.

• Thinking in terms of Energy and every atom, everywhere, being connected and in constant communication.

• And using Common Sense and Intuition over my (ego-based and programmed) intellect, which thought it knew everything but was, in fact, unbelievably naive!

I worried about how I might I write about these complex and inexpressible topics in a way that an intelligent, logical and rational person would listen to me without thinking I was some kind of a nut job or cult leader.

You see – that since the late 90s, I’d been drawn into the world of (what are now called) conspiracy theories.

And due to my love of research (and my innate need to test things), I’d gone down many rabbit holes, exploring everything I could about psychology, biology, chemistry, and science. 

I examined every piece of information I could, and where possible, I tested those theories out on myself – so I could be sure if they were true.

And what I found shocked me to my core! So much of what I had been taught, read in books, and watched on TV was not the real truth – but the ‘truth’ that certain organisations wished me to believe was true (to further their agendas).

A wonderful example of this is the concept of the science of calories; back in the 80s and 90s, it was all about counting calories, calories in and calories out – that’s how you lose weight.

But now it’s so laughable – a calorie is a unit of heat, and what one hundred calories of butter (in the form of fat) offers the body for sustenance is very different from one hundred calories of celery. 

And is one hundred calories of egg better for your cell’s biological well-being than one hundred calories of alcohol or ice-cream?

I slowly woke up to the fact that I was being cleverly bamboozled, manipulated and influenced by science, statistics and marketing from governments, corporations and the media looking to serve their personal agendas rather than my well-being.

And these corporations had paid off the research scientists, the associations that regulated industries and the universities which taught what the regulating bodies declared to be the ‘scientific’ truth – to market things to me in ways that I, as a naïve and trusting consumer, I would believe and act upon.

I was a dumb sucker – being screwed over and, for the most part, I was naively unaware that it was even happening to me!

Think about it: why print ‘smoking kills’ on a packet of cigarettes yet still allow them to be sold? 

If they kill us, don’t make them – or remove from them, what makes them addictive and carcinogenic – surely that is what a common-sense perspective might propose.

I became shocked at how corrupt and self-serving the world was and that many of the universities, civil services, utility suppliers, defence contractors, agricultural conglomerates, medical Goliaths, and the media were all seemingly working together (at a very high level) to imprison us all, whilst pretending to offer us the story that we were free, democratic and living the dream.

It became clear to me that many of the offices of authority (and knowledge) that I had been brought up to respect and trust – were (in fact) part of the very establishment that was trying to keep me locked down with fear and conformity as a compliant consumer.

Now, I am not trying to sell you any of those theories; It is just what I discovered to be true for me – it’s up to you to do your own research. 

All I’m saying is that how the world is being run made a lot more sense to me when I saw the true agendas that were being implemented –  rather than simply believing these authoritarian bodies had my wellness and happiness as their primary goal, as I had been taught in school.

Way back in the mid-2000s, when I told my friends (and family) about banking corruption and the plan to get rid of cash by switching to programmable digital currencies, about big pharma’s agendas to keep people unwell to profitably sell more drugs, about wars being staged to fund the military complex, digital ID’s, Universal Basic Income and plans for governments to bankrupt small family run companies – my friends would just laugh at me and say, “John, don’t be stupid; they would never do that!”

But it seems to me – that they would do that – and they are doing that!

I like that joke that says, “What’s the difference between a conspiracy theory and the truth?” – and the answer is… “About six months!”

Anyway, this course is not about politics; it’s about anxiety. And I’m not saying you should believe any of this. 

I don’t see myself as a conspiracy theorist, I see myself as a fascinated, common-sense life researcher!

But, here’s the point I am trying to make – and I think it is a big one.

I’ve closely watched how people, governments, banks, and corporations function, and very rarely did any of what they were doing make sense to my complex brain.

I always thought, “What’s wrong with me? Why is it that all the best brains in government and industry are doing XYZ when, obviously, the common sense thing to do would be ABC – what am I getting wrong?

How come, whichever political party gets voted in, they still do the same stupid things?

What’s wrong with me? What am I missing? Why am I working so hard to fit into a system that I think is stupid?

I used to listen to BBC News every morning while driving to work. However, I found myself frequently confused about the decisions and actions of the government.

Despite being in power and considered intelligent, I struggled to make sense of their actions. I assumed that I must have been the one misunderstanding things.

But, after researching how the world seems to operate, I had the startling realisation that the majority of the world’s population is not very clever (though they might think they are).

And, they have been cleverly indoctrinated through schools and universities funded by unaccountable governments (and sometimes unelected organisations) corporations, and regulating authorities which decide and stipulate the curriculum of which version of science will be rolled out to suit their current agenda.

Therefore, naive, young students pop out of the system, primed to become consumer slaves for the system whilst being sold the story that they are lucky to be safe, democratic, free and living the dream!

It’s bloody clever, really!

And it works because (energetically speaking) fifty per cent of the population is below the energy level of two hundred on the Hawkins Map of Consciousness – which means they are driven by fear and pride, therefore, easily tricked, placebo’d, manipulated, sold to and fearfully suppressed.

And those above the two-hundred break point where energy becomes life-enhancing are often too scared to rock the boat or call out all that corruption for fear of losing their well paid jobs or having their accreditation or licenses withdrawn.

As I said earlier, you don’t have to believe me, but what I am doing in this video is sharing with you how a person without anxiety might think to offer you some new perspectives.

Now, if we jump back to when I was trying to write my book, I was in a bit of a predicament.

Over the years, I had grown to really love my spiritual practices, and I was fascinated by all my conspiracy research – and (if I’m honest), doing therapy with anxious clients was not my favourite way to spend my day, but it paid the bills.

So, each night, as I sat down to write about anxiety and OCD – after working all day with anxiety and OCD – I just had zero motivation.

Then, one day, I was out on one of my ERP sensory deprivation walks (as I talk about in video 23) when a genius idea appeared on my mind screen.

And I do wonder these days where ideas (and creativity) truly come from, whether it is the brain or the field of energy around us or both!

My brain figured that I should merge all of the hardest clients I’d ever worked with to form the ultimate worst complex anxiety client, and it would be my job to find a way to break through all those barriers by simply using logic and reason to interrupt the negative, victim stories they were telling themselves.

I imagined – how I might go about educating a person with anxiety, OCD, ADHD, GAD, Pure O, Depression, Bipolar and a Complex Personality – to better understand what is happening to them and how to reverse it.

Then, the hardest thing of all – how might I teach them the life skills required to live a better life? 

Because (I believe) behind most mental illness problems are basically poor life management, relationship, self-worth and communication skills – and a lack of a well-articulated dream of what they (selfishly) desire for themselves.

I also imagined how I might incorporate my passion for living a more spiritual, energy-based and libertarian view of life by sharing my true experiences of how I developed more self-esteem, self-responsibility and some form of faith.

And doing this in such an interesting (and stealthy) manner so as to not accidentally scare them off by triggering their current brain configuration, which was (usually) rigidly defaulting to fear, doubt, and needing proof of everything.

When (of course) many of these esoteric perspectives are hard to prove, just as love, trust, faith and optimism are – yet they are wonderful states to live in.

Suddenly, the project became interesting, challenging, unique and exciting for me!

I told one of my friends about my plan, and he said he liked it, and he asked how long it would take to make, and I said I don’t know – then he said, will you write it or video it?

I said, I had initially planned to write it, but I now have a better idea. I am thinking of recording a video for each chapter of the book.

I decided to write the first chapter and then decide on the second one once it was finished.

Then at the end link grab all the words and compile them into a more structured book.

Which is funny, as now I have nearly 400,000 well structured words written – which is enough for four or five books!

Other decisions I made were to share my experiences, be honest, and not censor my work to favour political correctness, internet algorithms, or prevailing marketing fads – I would do what felt right for me.

I chose to make only one video per month because I was working full-time and knew I’d lose motivation if I overworked myself. 

Also, because one of my values is accountability, by telling my subscribers I would make one video a month forced me to make them happen.

Then, I imagined my work was famous, and students (and other therapists) had asked me to write deeply about everything I knew so they’d have a comprehensive and definitive collection of my knowledge – and that is what I aimed to produce.

The final piece of the jigsaw happened by luck. A friend asked how I would sell the course, and I said, I’ll cross that bridge once I’ve made it all – and he said why don’t you try to get people to fund you to create it?

I asked how that might be possible, and he pointed me towards the Patreon hosting site. So, I put the first six videos up for free on YouTube so they could see if they liked my work and would subscribe so I could fund making the next video.

Another intention of mine (right from the start) was that I would always try to aim for a low cost, high value, many user business model.

That way, high quality knowledge would be available to almost anybody and price shouldn’t be an obstacle for most people to access this information so they could begin to help themselves straight away.

I think I have achieved this – the obstacles I need now overcome are getting more people to sign up because the internet algorithms block my work as I am not a doctor, and my work is not aligned with conventional medical protocols to treat anxiety – though they are often more effective.

Plus, Patreon and PayPal are not accessible in many countries across Asia and the Middle East, where my work is very well received but hard to access – so I need to consider how I might solve that problem.

After making this course, I was surprised to find that it had profoundly changed me. I now have a better understanding of myself and feel calmer and more courageous than when I started.

Having to put into words my thoughts, feelings and theories was very impactful; it forced me to really consider myself, my views and my needs.

I learned so much about presenting, writing, grammar, storytelling, filming, editing, motivation and creativity. 

And I did all of this from a bedroom, masquerading as my office, in my house, on my own, with no psychology or therapy accreditations – and with almost no costs except my time – which I tried not to waste by watching TV, being on social media or playing computer games!

Another thing that I lucked into but turned out to be a fantastic strategy was…

Because each time I wrote a chapter, then immediately published that video, I was getting instant feedback from my audience to see if I was on the right track.

And because I was being propelled to deeply consider what to write about and being forced to articulate my views on many topics (and be able to substantiate my concepts), I could test out my new theories as I worked with clients and if they worked, include them in my videos.

This meant that not only was I growing by questioning my own beliefs and stories, but I was also receiving real-world validation for them.

I had stumbled upon a most incredible way of continuing to work as a therapist and to write and test my theories, hone them, live them and publish them before I had even finished writing the whole course.

If I had sat down to spend a year writing a book none of this would have happened… 

Next up I learned how fickle creativity is, sometimes it comes, sometimes it doesn’t, but you have to make space for it, you have to sit there and write something no matter how hard that might be.

 I’ve got to be honest and say that I mostly didn’t like writing the scripts, hated the filming even more and I found the editing hard and boring!

However, once the video was uploaded and published, I had the most beautiful feeling of achievement that outweighed all the effort.

I recently heard an interview with a famous author who, when asked how much she loved writing, replied, “I don’t like writing at all, but I do deeply love having written.” I can understand that sentiment completely!

And finally, I learned how absolutely exhausting being continuously creative for five years can be. Very often, a video might take me seven to ten days of constant writing and a couple of days to film and edit.

So, next up, I’m going to take a six-month break to recharge my batteries, and to consider what my next plan of action is, and explore what new things I’d like to learn, then report back on.

I will still be posting articles here on Patreon answering your questions, and there are many short videos and animations I’d still like to make – so, if you have any requests, please put them in the notes under this video.

So, as you made it to this last of the long videos of this phase, then I’ll guess you are one of the ‘special ones’, and I hope my work has helped you in some way; you certainly are very special to me!

Thank you for your support. It would be wonderful if you could continue to subscribe and help me attract new sign-ups by telling others about this resource. Together, we can help those who wish to help themselves find more calmness. 

Thank you – and much love to you all!

Copyright © Calmness in Mind Limited, 2024. All Rights Reserved, Not for Resale or Reuse.

Continued in the video…