John’s big theory of everything – calming the battle between our inner and outer realities!

Where I’ll bring together and strive to combine the various concepts I have shared into a practical blueprint, a comprehensive model for living which helped me find calmness, courage, and self-compassion.

It’s important to note the concepts I share here are personal and may not align with your beliefs, which is acceptable as the narratives I’ve used to break free from my limitations may differ from yours.

And I acknowledge and respect that we each have individual beliefs based on our personality, culture, and living situations.

So, instead of trying to conform, let us celebrate our differences and embrace creating the right new perspectives we each require to expand emotionally.

I can’t remember when, but one day after reading all the books and going on all the courses, I suddenly woke up to the fact that it was only me who was responsible for the experience of my life, nobody else.

And, as I pondered my life, I found myself increasingly intrigued by the connection between the outer world – which I was taught is reality (and governed by the rules of science) – and my inner subjective experience, which included how my senses and brain interpreted that outer reality and how this, in turn, affected my thoughts and feelings.

Initially, I thought that exploring that outer reality in-depth would offer me the answers I sought to ease my incessantly curious and anxious thoughts.

However, upon deep reflection, I have come to the conclusion that the nature of reality is subjective and can only be comprehended by the individual Observer.

This meant I had to change my conditioned thinking to acknowledge that reality was not out there, reality was my reality, and my inner experience was my reality – even if it didn’t align with the objective happenings outside of me.

Like a Mother loving a child, but that child thinking it wasn’t loved. It is the child’s reality that he feels he isn’t loved no matter what the Mother does, especially if that child had, over time, internalised that story into a belief system (of being unloveable) that would extend to unconsciously cloud all his adult thoughts.

So I had to learn that it was entirely possible for those around me to be having different perceptions and experiences of the same outer world, and I should try to become open to understanding and respecting those differences yet still work on making mine more pleasant.

And, because during my childhood, my senses had been conditioned to be more orientated to search for perceived fear and danger outside of me, I would need to recalibrate them (and my brain) in new ways that might orientate them towards registering the good aspects in life rather than the scary or sad ones.

Could I recalibrate my senses to more pleasant settings where (by default), they’d filter out pessimism and focus on optimism, filter out doubt and align with trust – because that was the new subjective reality I wished to experience regardless of the truth of any situation external to me?

So, I consciously decided to train my thoughts to see the best in people and to focus on their positive characteristics and optimistic outcomes even during difficult times.

I also committed myself to sustaining hope instead of giving in to despair and attempting to remain grounded in each present moment allowing me to decide the best course of action in line with my intentions rather than being hijacked by emotions or getting lost in futile “what if” or “if only” thought loops which poured more fuel on the fire of procrastination and doubt.

Just as a motor-racing team can make adjustments to their car to suit a specific race track, such as adding downforce or changing tyre pressures, how could I make adjustments to my senses and awareness to better suit a new calmer way of living?

As I practised, I discovered my life could be split into two distinct realms.

The first was of tangible objects which could be measured and explained by science, such as trees and people, and in this domain, there were clear cause-and-effect type relationships between those individual objects.

However, the second domain was intangible, immeasurable, and invisible. It consisted of energetic forces I couldn’t see, touch or comprehend, such as love, fear, connection, and courage. And those forces or emotions might change instantly, affecting me, overwhelming me, and seemingly functioning outside of the laws of nature.

And the more I considered what I wanted from life, the more I realised most of my desires fell within this second intangible, non-physical, non- linear realm.

I wanted to experience love, self-confidence, calmness, purpose, motivation, and trust – but there were no scientific formulas to explain how I might achieve these subjective, emotional and energetic experiences.

And this set me off on my journey – rather than just believing everything I had been taught, I decided to test everything out on myself to see what might happen if I surrendered to all my fears and simply tried new things, thus giving me experience rather than just knowledge – a common sense rather than just an intelligent perspective.

And I was astonished to discover I could influence my biology, adjust my internal chemistry, modify my cell configurations – I could desensitise my senses and change how my brain processed information.

And more shockingly, if I didn’t do those things, my brain and body would be running me – the horse would dominate the rider – whereas I wanted my rider to calmly influence my horse.

Suddenly I could comprehend how cults could brainwash people and how government intelligence agencies or armies could train their operatives to coerce, manipulate (or even kill).

How hypnotists and conjurers could trick a person’s brain (right in front of them) and why governments, the mainstream media and

marketing companies were spending millions of dollars each year to educate, brainwash, coerce, nudge, drive, compel, encourage and program me to suit their agendas.

Like everybody else, my brain had been well and truly programmed to believe what it was told, to trust authority and to follow the rules – rather than asking common sense questions, like, what if the rules are silly? Or is taking this action in my best interest?

I gained a new perspective on life that made me identify more as a libertarian who desired to take greater responsibility for myself – a big transition from my previous anxious self who sought safety by pleasing others, following rules, or doing what was considered the right thing. I found this new form of self-governance a refreshing experience.

Therefore, it was necessary for me to work as hard as society was to reprogram my brain, otherwise, it would be their programs running in my unconscious brain rather than my own.

Even now, after twenty years and daily defending my (easily trickable) unconscious brain from the constant social media, news and advertising bombardment – I still have moments where I am truly horrified to the degree that I am still being influenced!

It’s hard to acknowledge just how powerful we humans can be when we are adjusted to suit the right race track, setup for intentions,

energy, action, optimism, health, creativity, trust and bravery, and it seems this secret to our emotional well-being is something those in power would rather keep hidden from us.

One of my early mentors told me, “People lack a vivid and captivating dream that motivates them to take action. As a result, they do what they believe is expected of them based on the programming they received during childhood”.

And as Henry Thoreau wrote, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

I see this to be true, but I don’t want that for myself (and I don’t want that for you, either).

So, my big picture story is my desire to make living my life (the expression of my art) through how I talk, what I do, what I won’t do, creativity, integrity, truth and love and who I ultimately become will be the masterpiece I am working on…

If I reflect back on the first half of my life, I thought it was what I owned or achieved that would define me or become the measure of my success.

However, it’s clear to me now – it’s who I have become (and who I still might become) which has been the most magnificent achievement of my life.

I used my observer, in conjunction with my conscious mind, to ERP my frightened donkey into becoming a magnificent horse.

So the dream – I dream, for myself, is the dream of inner self-mastery, the ability to guide myself into becoming the best loving, creative and calm man I can be.

To be the King of my inner reality, to know who I am and what I want, and to make my reality, my subjective life experience, as nice as possible.

The old me attempted to make the external world pleasant so that I would feel good – but now I focus on making my inner world good so the external world feels pleasant.

Therefore, no matter what I do in life, as long as I bring the best me to that action (regardless of any outcome), I will always know that I have tried.

So, what I am suggesting is… How might you borrow this model, adapt it to suit, or develop your own story’s that you’d like your unconscious brain to accept as true so it stops tormenting and sabotaging you?

My model has six perspectives from which I observe my life experience.

(1.) The first one is my Observer, which I define as conscious awareness; I don’t mean my conscious brain; I mean an awareness that is above my physical body.

(2.) The second way I see myself – is simply as my animal Central Nervous System and Brain – which sits in the darkness of my insides, of which I have learned how it seems to function, and I have discovered how to trick it, reprogram it and desensitise it from fear and excessive thinking.

(3.) The third way I see myself is as my human biology – the fact that I am a giant chemistry set, cells can be re-engineered, immunity can be enhanced, metabolic diseases can be minimised, health can be increased, and stress can definitely be lowered.

(4.) The fourth way I observe myself is as energy; underneath everything, I am made of atoms, which live in a sea of invisible energy that binds us and communicates across our Universe.

(5.) My fifth perspective is my story of this animal pretending to be a human and how he might guide himself within this life, what skills need to be learned or improved to maximise our experience.?

(6.) And finally, the sixth model – is from my Soul’s perspective. Because, yes, my body is having this particular one-off mortal experience, but my Soul is immortal, and what might it require of this life, and how might it connect more deeply with the Universe and Divinity?

Over the last twenty years, working on those differing perspectives has allowed me to optimise each aspect of myself for the function it has for me, rather than trying to find one model that worked for all aspects of me.

And remember from video 44 – organisms that look for fitness payoffs always outperform those looking to understand reality – because doing then thinking is always more successful than thinking but not doing.

So, if you can find a model that works for you (regardless of its truth), it will allow you to think less and act more.

OK, so, let me expand on each of these perspectives so I can share with you how I interact with them.

(1.) Let’s jump back to the Observer; as I have said many times, it is the part of me that looks out of my eyes (or at my mind screen) if my eyes are closed.

My Observer is my awareness or my attention; it is the formless part of me that watches whatever thoughts the brain proposes and peers out watching the outer world.

To the best of my ability, I attempt to identify myself as this formless ‘aspect’ of awareness, NOT as my body or brain. Within my inner dialogue, rather than saying ‘my thoughts’ I’d say ‘the thoughts, or ‘the body is anxious.’

So, as I aligned my identity with my Observer’s attention – I soon noticed that – where I placed my attention dictated where my energy would flow and thus energise some sort of response.

If I were to place my awareness on a past event, stories of it might rise up on my mind screen, and my body may become emotionally charged.

If I place my awareness on another person, that may energise me into contacting them or wanting to be with them, or it may invoke a feeling of anger, regret, guilt, grief or any other emotion.

If I place my awareness on writing, thoughts about that topic begin to emerge, and I start typing, and something begins to become created.

So, because where my attention goes is where my energy flows, I have to be careful about where I choose to place my attention.

I’ve had to learn how to use it wisely in the now on my intentions to make things happen rather than wasting it on ‘if only‘ past stories or ‘what if‘ future stories, each of which are a complete waste of my time and energy.

I’ve also had to learn how to turn off the energy flow so if I am observing something that is out of my control or not aligned with my intentions, my body (or that event) isn’t energised.

This is why I don’t watch the news and have perfected my NMP (not my problem) mantra, so I can Observe what is happening around me yet consciously detach so my energy is not wasted and my body is not emotionally charged.

This is why I won’t watch murderous or scary films or play violent computer games – as I don’t want those life-depleting stories energising my thoughts.

I hope this makes sense.

If it is, you’ll see now why the Observer, its intention, and the energy available to us – play such an important role in quantum mechanics of collapsing the wavelike, energetic cloud of potentiality down from energy into matter and into actuality.

So, though my Observer can’t control outcomes, he most certainly can influence and energise (or not) everything in the atomic field around him, just from where (and how) he consciously places his awareness.

To me, this simple model shows so clearly why an OCD person like Elon Musk, who obsessively focuses his awareness on the intentions he does want to happen – largely has those things happen to some degree.

Whereas an OCD person whose awareness is focused on what they don’t want or all the things that will go wrong is unknowingly energising at best, nervous inactivity and at worst, the very thing they fear.

This is why I had to learn how to decide what I want and then how to keep consciously and positively talking myself into taking those actions and not wasting my energy by placing my awareness on anything else.

And to take those required actions regardless of how my body felt or what opposing stories my unconscious brain might propose to me.

It’s quite simple, really – but we were never taught this way of atomically being part of nature rather than seeing ourselves as a standalone human.

Where I place my attention is one of the few things I can consciously control. However, it’s easily distracted. That’s why learning how to meditate was so powerful for me. It helped me guard against my attention being pulled in different directions, allowing me to stay focused on what I choose to energise or simply accept in silence.

As I discussed in video 13, the Observer seems to mature around the age of 18 and thereafter, no matter how old your body becomes, it still feels like it’s about 18 on the inside.

The day before my Dad died, he said to me, “This is crazy, John, being in this old body, as I still feel like I am 18 on the inside!”

I think this Observer ‘essence of self‘ is an energy form – like a thought might be, and upon death (if you think life ends there), this energy form just dissipates back into nature, the lights switch off, and all is well.

And if you believe some part of you leaves the body once it dies (as I do), then I will be talking about my Soul later.

This Observer perspective forms the basis for my horse and rider metaphor – whereby I see my Observer (or Soul) as the rider of my horse (which is my self-contained human body).

The horse (my body) doesn’t need my rider; like in a coma, the body just does what is needed to survive and repair itself.

But my rider needs my horse to get around and achieve everything it wishes to accomplish in this lifetime.

Therefore, I had to decide who the boss was – the rider or the horse and which perspective I would choose to take my guidance from.

I have managed to retrain myself to live now from the perspective that my Observer (or Soul) is who I am – and not my body.

I can love and enjoy my body – and I can recognise that it is the magnificent tool I use to experience this life with – but to be too identified with it or to dislike it in any way, or to fear it would only hinder my experience…

The second perspective I use is that of my IT department, namely my clumsy senses, my conditioned central nervous system and my programmed brain, the reptilian instinctual responses, the emotional limbic (yes/no) system, and the aftermarket add-on, my conscious thinking intellectual forebrain.

I discuss how these work in videos 2 and 3, and I detail how clumsy and trickable our senses are in video 17.

Armed with this knowledge, I learned – that in any moment, my autonomic nervous system would be either in its sympathetic (stressful) fight or flight mode, which was bad for my well-being, or it would be in my beneficial parasympathetic mode of rest, digest and repair, which unstresses my biology, repairs any damage and recharges my emotional battery.

I had to find ways to continuously trick my biology to remain (as much as possible) in this state of calmness to recharge my emotional battery and retrain the brain’s amygdala to reclassify old fearful associations from the unsafe database to the safe database as I outlined in video 8.

It became so evident that negativity, doubt, catastrophising, pessimism, complaining and doing drama would trigger my body into stress responses, whilst optimism, trust, acceptance, forgiveness and

letting go could keep my body in the rest, digest and repair mode – even if I were fibbing to myself!

My inner subjective experience had to trump my outer objective one to the best of my abilities.

Another model that served me well was to imagine that my central nervous system and brain had an imaginary fuse within it, like in an electrical plug.

In an anxious person, this fuse trips if there is too much emotion running through the system from the fight or flight response or trapped trauma escaping from the body.

When this fuse trips, blood is pulled back from the prefrontal cortex of the brain, disabling conscious and rational thinking, causing the person to either freeze, angrily lash out or try to escape that situation using the logic of a child (which is our emotional limbic midbrain operates).

Then, once the situation normalises (even if it was just a virtual reality story of the brain), the conscious thinking forebrain returns, and the body is left to burn off the erroneously released stress chemicals as it slowly calms down.

I used to think that I couldn’t handle certain situations or people because I would get easily upset. However, I learned I could improve my ability to handle discomfort by upgrading the rating of my ‘fuse.’

This meant exposing myself to uncomfortable situations and using techniques to calm my mind and quickly return it to a calmer parasympathetic relaxed state.

As I practised, handling these situations became easier, and my ‘fuse’ became stronger; until now, it’s become my new normal, and I feel more confident in my ability to handle challenging situations.

I have taken my fuse from an easily trip-able and anxious 3 amps to a rating where it is almost impossible to trip my system into anxiety; therefore, no matter what is happening around me, I’m not overwhelmed, so can keep my rational mind engaged, allowing me to function well in any situation – thus raising my confidence and self- worth.

This means because I can handle life, I can be of more use to nature. Therefore, nature allows me to access its more powerful attractor energy fields.

Lastly, I have come to the realization that my mind is like a blank canvas which my imagination can use to visualise its ideas.

And though these ideas may vary from beautiful to horrific and though they may include all forms of perversion, sexuality, violence or contamination – these inputs are just the product of my incredible imagination in action playing out on my wonderful mind screen, inspiring me to decide which of these many, many ideas might I desire to nurture into creation through my intentions and my actions in the outer world.

I learned to stop fearing my thoughts, giving them any meaning and embraced them as just part of ‘the brain.’ I soon learnt that I could use my integrity or intentions to be the arbiter of my actions, not my imagination or my feelings.

Finally, as I became less identified with the thoughts of the brain – I discovered there was a silence beneath it and in that stillness, was the flow-state of creativity and a deep connection with nature and intuition which I could trust, as I discussed in videos 35 and 37….

Now, the third perspective was to consider my body not just as an animal with basic creature needs for food, reproduction, shelter, survival and tribal integration – but also as a huge chemistry set, and if I wasn’t optimising the release of pleasant (and healthy) chemicals within me I would be missing a powerful opportunity for change.

I found it liberating to accept that beneath all my human conditioning; I was still an animal. Therefore, I shouldn’t fear my emotions of anger, selfishness, sexual desire, pain, frustration or any

other biological urges, as these were completely natural for that animal part of me.

I could embrace them and allow them to be, but it didn’t mean I had to act on them – or I could if I wished, it was my choice via the acceptance of who I was choosing to become.

We are emotional creatures who learned how to think – and my life changed exponentially as I stopped identifying as a thinking creature who tried to avoid his emotions.

Emotions are just energy in motion – e-motions, they come, and they go, and as we learn to handle them by raising our fuse rating and not fighting them, everything changes.

Now models 2 and 3 share an important component which I call the six–month emotional energy battery, as you may remember from video 4.

A healthy human being seems to be able to handle about six months of trauma, stress, injury, grief, disruption or emotional pain before it becomes emotionally (or biologically) exhausted.

Once the battery becomes flat, this triggers our natural life-preserving response by unconsciously sabotaging us to pull back from that

stressful way of being – via inducing anxiety, illness or depression until we can recharge our biology.

In 80% of people, this sabotage will try to make them stay at home – whilst the other 20% (who are normally more extroverted) get anxious at home and will desire to escape the stresses of that environment.

Once that emotional energy battery becomes depleted, it causes three further issues; firstly, it suppresses the person’s ability to make decisions – because we make decisions with our feelings (not our thoughts).

Therefore I had to learn to make decisions based on what would be good for my life, not what would avoid my anxiety!

Secondly, I came to the realisation that even when I did good things, life wouldn’t feel good because my emotional energy battery was depleted. Therefore, I had to begin my recovery despite feeling exhausted instead of waiting to feel better before taking action.

This meant I had to do good things for myself, like socialising, getting fit or changing my job, even though I didn’t feel like doing any of them.

And thirdly, I had to acknowledge that even as I took action and stopped worrying – it would still take four to six months of living that

way for my emotional battery to recharge before I might start to feel good again and the unconscious sabotage to back off, so I had to be consistent and patient.

Then I was introduced to epigenetics, and it just blew my mind; the concept that many diseases were inherited, that they ‘ran in the family’ was turned upside down by the discovery it wasn’t the parent’s genes, but the parent’s behaviours that caused their children to express those similar genes.

The behaviour of anxious parents trained anxious children, angry parents trained angry children, and depressed parents trained depressed children – to think, behave, worry, eat and live similarly.

Therefore, the behaviours of worrying, stressing, eating, being angry etc. overtime, signalled the genes to either express (or not express) themselves.

This meant our bloodstream and whichever emotional peptides were being released in it would be the messenger to tell cells to express certain genes.

And the biggest contributor to releasing chemicals into our bloodstream is our thoughts.

This means a happy person in a bad job may have a healthier chemical soup than a stressed person in a good job.

A person on a poor diet but with a positive attitude may have a healthier chemical soup than a vegetarian who is eating well but is stressed about the plight of animals.

A calm person in an anxiety-ridden environment may have a healthier chemical soup than an anxious person in a calm environment.

This clearly demonstrated (to me) why worried and stressed people had more illness than calm people. It woke me up to the realisation that if I watched a comedy tv show, I would be laughing and releasing happy peptides into my blood – and that even if I pretended to laugh, or just smiled, my body would release more – I was a giant chemistry set.

So I consciously decided to stop complaining and to become more optimistic, funny, calm and to love more – as it was those chemicals like dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin I desired to be flowing through me, not adrenalin and cortisol.

I stopped feeling anxious when I stopped thinking and behaving in anxious ways; it’s common sense, really, yet the medical world fails to grasp this simple concept!

In this biological phase, I also decided to take more responsibility for what food I put into my body. I had to embrace the fact that sugar, carbohydrates, wheat, flour and processed foods were provably bad for my body, no matter how much I liked them.

It pleasantly shocked me to find that removing these foods from my diet lifted my mood, reduced anxiety, boosted my energy levels and made my brain run faster.

This ketogenic way of eating encouraged my cells to feed from slow- burn fats, which encouraged the sensation of satiation, rather than from fast-burn sugars, which tricked the body into craving more carbs.

I was surprised at the simplicity of this model – if there were sugars in my diet, my cells would feed from them rather than from any fat in my body, and once they had enough sugar to feed off, any remaining sugar in my system would be stored as more fat.

Then as the cells needed to feed again, they would default to looking for more sugar (or set up a craving within me to eat sugar) – rather than just feeding off my existing fat.

Therefore, to burn off my existing fat, it made sense for me to cut sugars and carbs from my diet and train my body to primarily feed from fats.

Plus, this high-fat, medium protein and low carbohydrate metabolically biased eating strategy seems to minimise type 2 diabetes, obesity, cancer and dementia – or at least it makes those conditions harder to establish themselves – and I liked the idea of that….

OK – let’s jump to model four, which I call my Atomic Energy Model, which I discussed in videos 9 and 37.

In models two and three, I observed my body as matter which I could see and touch; therefore, it felt real to me.

However, that matter is made from atoms, and atoms are just little balls of energy spinning so fast that they seem solid but are, in truth, just protons and neutrons surrounded by a cloud of electrons.

From this perspective, I could see I was fundamentally a mass of energy – a clump of twenty-seven billion atoms held together, forming a self-propelling, self-repairing, self-replicating, self-thinking, biological creature called John’s body, whose unconscious, animalistic and automated shenanigans were watched by John’s Observer.

These atoms are held together (to form the body) by an energetic life force which we might call Chi or Prana – and when that life force expired, or if it were to be severed by an accident, those atoms would

become de-energised, separate, then flow back into nature to be used elsewhere.

And all that would remain would be what there was before, which is the immortal Observer – Consciousness – Awareness – a single point expression of divinity.

Now, I’m not a religious person, but I do believe in a higher power, and this model better enabled me to comprehend the concept of nature or God being both transcendent and immanent.

And my biggest obstacle to accessing God – was my ego, which was of the brain and body, and who thought that without him, I would flounder.

But once I became the Observer, I could see that beneath all the ego’s fears was everything I had always (unknowingly) been searching for.

As I associated more with my Observer (or my Soul), I could comprehend there was an aspect of God being immanent (meaning within me) – and that,

once the atoms fell away at my death, that part would reconnect with the transcendent God, the God (or Source) outside of me, and I would be home.

I’m not saying this is the truth, but it is the truth as I would like to live my life by and train my unconscious brain to believe; plus, the more I live this way, the more it seems to be true through my experiences.

I also find this model very comforting, and by associating God more with energy, knowledge, love and doing good – technically, for me, this is quite a compelling perspective free from restrictive religious (and seemingly man-made) doctrines.

This atomic energy model brings in other perspectives that I like too.

The first one is that knowledge can be transferred to me via light, sound or through energetic attractor fields around me, much like we can download a movie through a fibre optic cable or via wifi, 5g or the like.

Therefore, nature (or God) can make information available to me concordant with that which I can handle via my mindset, the fuse rating of my central nervous system, the frequency I vibrate and my ability to try new things.

And this is so beautifully represented by the Dr David Hawkins Map of Consciousness, as I detailed in video 37

As my whole mass of atoms begins to vibrate at a higher frequency, more energy can be accessed, and nature begins to attract opportunities of a similar energy towards my intentions.

Now, this was the hardest part for me to get my head around because it was such a huge and mostly unknowable topic, plus the laws of physics at this micro foundational, energetic, quantum, sub-atomic level are amazingly different to the laws I was taught at school which govern us when all the atoms are grouped together to form a macro- structure such as my body.

I guess my point is that I am both – the energetic micro-world and the organic macro-world, and common sense told me that the biggest rewards for my growth would come from thinking and acting from the fundamental energy perspective than from the secondary organic perspective.

If I could energetically vibrate crisply and effectively in an optimal high frequency, high amperage environment – most of the organic stresses on my body and brain would naturally dissipate, and I would be useful to nature, divinity and those around me.

For me, this state is beneath the body’s thinking brain and is where intuition comes to the fore. That intuition is beyond the body’s main five senses – it’s my energetic awareness that reads the energy fields of nature and the energy fields of the people around me to intuit their needs from a more holistic perspective.

So, my perspectives grew to incorporate this style of observing myself – not only did I need to keep my physical body fit, recharged and healthy, but I also needed a plan to keep my atomic energy body healthy too.

So, I introduced (to myself) the concept of energetic health. Was my energy field optimal, or was I carrying around trapped trauma, low- frequency thought fields or having other energy leeches feeding from me?

Now, because understanding how our energy fields work is complex, hard to measure, and, for some, too much of a jump to believe, I am going to keep this simple, so concepts such as past life trauma, chakra blockages, soul retrieval and ancestral traumas (which I used to scoff at but now have experienced to be real) – I’ll save for another video.

I will also defer talking about the nine dimensions that energy seems to operate within, of which we live in the third dimension.

For now, I’d just like to focus on trapped trauma, as I originally described in video 9 – where I said – if emotions are not allowed to flow freely through (and out) of us – if they are repressed or held down, and that excess energy has to go somewhere.

I like to imagine that the excess energy gets stored in the atoms of our body or our energy field. It’s only a metaphor, but I see it similar to how a massive volume of gas can be compressed down to be stored in a small metal gas canister, causing that energy to vibrate more slowly as it becomes denser and heavier until the atom becomes full and seals itself off.

And once an atom is full, the next one begins to store the remainder of that held-down energy until the trauma passes – leaving that person with clusters of atoms, charged to the brim, under stress, holding down all that potential energy which is just waiting for the opportunity to blast out as useful kinetic energy which would energise the field of that person.

The denser our store of trapped trauma and energy, the slower we vibrate, and the more stress is placed on our biological body. So, all that deadweight potential energy held in your atoms needs to be released as kinetic energy, and though it will feel like a panic attack, it’s not; it is your path to desensitising your body.

I call the storage of all that stuck energy your atomic energy battery. Unlike the emotional energy battery, which requires to be recharged, the atomic energy battery needs to be vented and discharged.

When full, it holds you in the lower energy fields depleting your biological energy and, like a magnet, attracts low-energy events and people toward you.

However, as you learn to become comfortable with the discomfort of emotions and let them move through you, they begin to discharge, moving you up into higher energy levels.

Now, if I jump back to the emotional energy battery, which we desire to recharge by thinking and worrying less, this can be charged from other sources too.

And because atoms naturally transport energy from one place to another, your emotional energy battery can be helpfully recharged from energetic sources like being near the sea, basking in the sun, visiting high-energy locations and being around high-energy individuals.

This also meant I had to (as best I could) avoid locations, individuals, and activities that were low energy and might drain me.

Initially, I could comprehend this model, but because my primary five senses weren’t optimised for this (invisible and unmeasurable) energy model, it was hard for me to sense that it was true.

Initially, my previous reliance on logical reasoning made it difficult for me to accept this model, which I sensed to be true but couldn’t prove. Despite this, I took a leap of faith, and what I discovered was life- changing.

The last part of this energetic model took me quite a while to understand; however, once I did – it answered many questions.

In our human macro-world of matter, things seem to happen in a linear causational manner – like ‘a this causes a that’ – classically, it’s called Newtonian physics, meaning everything needs to be mechanically and mathematically provable and linked together.

That which you can see and measure is scientific, and everything else is speculation or pseudoscience. Though this seems logical, it’s a glass ceiling that limits our growth because when we view life energetically from a tiny quantum perspective, the laws of physics are very different.

Do you remember from video 10 when I said it’s always now, and we are stationary as time comes at us? It’s now, here’s the next now, and the next now.

But what if, in each nearly now moment, at a subatomic level, all the atoms in our environment were waiting in a cloud of potentiality, ready to collapse into actuality influenced by the Observer (which is us), our energy level and the intentions we hold in mind?

Quantum physics points to this being true. It says that the observer (and their thoughts) affect the cloud as it collapses to create the next moment of now.

Could this be why people who think they are lucky have lucky things happen to them, and those who think they will fail often do?

Perhaps now you’ll see how optimism, having clear intentions and raising your atomic energy levels can make a huge difference.

Think about it, everything ever designed and made, from Concord to the Eifel Tower, started off as a thought in someone’s head that energised an action, which created an outcome.

So, in my world, I don’t wait until the right time comes, as that is the procrastination trap – in every now moment, I am imagining the outcomes I wish for and hope to influence the next moment (in some way) to be in my favour.

Over the years, I’ve heard many spiritual teachers use the phrase ‘live your life like a prayer’, and once I adopted this model, it made sense. I now have an almost continuous inner dialogue with nature (or the Godliverse), communicating what I am looking for, what support I might need, asking for help and reminding nature of my intentions for my life and for those around me…

My fifth model is – the Animal pretending to be a Human, and it’s the mismatch between what I want to be doing – and what I am doing.

Basically, what skills do you need to acquire that will either motivate you into action or enable you to take action effectively?

And that’s what much of this course is about learning about your personality types, relationship skills, social skills, changing attitudes, belief systems, programming your RAS, chasing fitness payoffs, developing courage, reengineering your cells, defining intentions and talking yourself into making them happen.

As I keep saying, if you have anxiety, rather than waiting until your anxiety goes, use life now as your exposure therapy; use whatever action you need to take now to make your intentions happen; feel the fear but do it anyway it is nearly always easier than you expect….

Now, the last section is my model for my Soul’s journey; as I said before, it’s not necessarily the truth; in fact, I’m not looking for the truth because searching for truth is not a fitness payoff; it’s a distraction from life, remember?

In my story, I use the concept of ‘Soul‘ as an intangible and everlasting essence that animates a person. I believe it embodies a person’s awareness, disposition, and ethical compass which manifests in their emotions, motivation, and innovation.

This is the concept that I wish for my horsey to believe, so he feels more comfortable as I guide him into new destinations and experiences as part of his becoming more useful to me through the constant ERP I keep exposing him to.

I imagine that there is a giant, invisible sea of energy that engulfs the Universe and has at least 9 separate (yet interconnected) dimensions, some of which are dense and heavy such as this, our third dimension of matter and others that are energetic and more ethereal yet still hold intelligence and consciousness.

In my imagination, another dimension exists where souls are present without bodies. These Souls seem to be engaged in the pursuit of acquiring knowledge. If I were the creator of nature, I would have designed it in a manner that encourages these souls to continue learning and creating in a benevolent manner.

The best way to learn everything would be to experience everything. Therefore, I believe our Soul began its journey millions of years ago as an element stuck in a rock. It was then eroded and ground down, freed and assimilated into the soil, and from there, it could evolve into a plant, fern, or tree in each reincarnation.

It experiences the cycles of all plants, then reincarnates through all the insects, reptiles, rodents, and mammals until it reaches the human form, the (seemingly) most advanced creature on the planet.

The soul then reincarnates lifetime after lifetime, taking a new body each time to gain more knowledge and to pay off any negative karma from previous misdeeds against nature.

Eventually, the soul may reach a point where it has learned all it needs from Earth school, which we might call enlightenment and its wisdom and value may be utilized elsewhere in the Universe.

In my model, the planet is circular in nature and cleverly self- sustaining; what I mean by that is the grass is happily eaten by an animal as its Soul knows it will one day become that animal, and an animal is happily eaten by a human because it then entitles him to come back as a human sometime.

Now, I must be honest with you – I don’t really care if this is true or not, but I really like the story, and it is the story I want my unconscious brain to believe, as it will then shut it up and allow me to get on with my life now.

So, once your Soul has done all the rounds with all the plants and all the creatures, he keeps returning as a human until he learns how to handle all aspects of life without fear.

I’ve often wondered whether individuals who identify as the other gender (of their biological sex) are simply experiencing that gender for the first time. Perhaps as the soul separates from its higher self and forgets past experiences, there are faint echoes of memories from their former gender.

More recently, I am subscribing to the concept that your Soul returns to Earth at the same level of consciousness that it left at the last time and the circumstances you are born into purposefully align with what you still need to learn.

So being born into poverty, being disabled or being abused happens as these were the events you are required to learn how to rise above. Or perhaps you chose those challenges to pay off some negative karma, like being killed in this lifetime because you killed someone in a past life.

I quite like that sort of model because there is no external (Godlike) entity judging you; you’ll naturally be judged yourself by your own actions (or inactions) in each lifetime.

More recently, too, I am warming to the concept of Soul groups whereby we swoop in and out of this world in large groups and have worked with each other over many lifetimes, being parents, siblings, friends, lovers etc., and we agree beforehand which roles we would play to give the other the person the experience they required.

I like this model as it allows us to more easily forgive those who acted badly towards us; let’s say a Father disowned a son because he was gay during this lifetime; this could be seen differently – if they had already agreed beforehand that’s what would happen so the son could learn to transcend rejection, alienation, or whatever that Soul particularly needed to learn to overcome in this lifetime.

And when the Souls all return together again, they can thank each other for fulfilling those roles once their initial memories have been returned to their higher selves.

I believe that each person’s Soul is a singular point of consciousness that experiences the world in their own unique way. Despite this, we are all interconnected and originate from the same source, ultimately forming a single unit. Similar to how individual drops of water combine to form the vastness of the ocean, our perceived individuality is just one perspective, and we are all part of a larger whole.

This means by helping others, I am ultimately helping myself, and by being nasty to others, is ultimately being nasty to myself.

It also means that I don’t necessarily need to save others, their karma is their Karma to learn to deal with, and by focusing on my own growth, once again, I am ultimately helping everybody by raising the level of consciousness for all on the planet.

Once again, I like that concept, and if I am going to choose to believe in reincarnation, I may as well make it smart and to serve my brain well.

Can you see, we all dream a dream of life (of our subjective reality), so why can’t we make that dream as practical and nice as possible?

So, in my story, the Soul enters the foetus just before birth, and sometime during (some) human lives, awareness may become aware of its own awareness and thus becomes the rider of its horse and can influence it to become all it can be.

I have a different perspective that helps me accept the chaos of the world. I don’t believe that Earth needs to be a perfect utopia where everyone lives in harmony. If we didn’t have disasters, wars, cultural diversity, dangerous animals, disease, corporate and government greed and control, we wouldn’t have the challenges we need to grow as individuals.

People have different ways of awakening, some by seeing the good and others by seeing the worst. It’s not necessary to fear the bad since everything happens for us, not to us. It’s all part of our journey towards growth and enlightenment.

Our environment is full of opportunities for growth. If the Earth were perfect, we would need another planet with chaos to learn from.

As Souls become more attuned to their spiritual selves, their connection to the non-linear realm of energy (and nature) becomes stronger.

This heightened state of awareness, called level 200 by David R. Hawkins, is where negativity is transformed into positivity. It’s a space where courage and honesty flourish within powerful energy fields that not only energise the individual but also affect the observer’s intentions.

The way I visualise this is by going back to the atomic battery I mentioned earlier. In my story, the spiritual goal is to completely discharge the atomic battery by becoming high energy and high frequency.

I imagine that each lifetime, anything bad you do, takes the emotional energy (the negative charge of that action) and compresses it down into a tiny atomic charge that is then stored in that atomic battery.

It’s not for this video, but this simplistic model (of mine) also points to how the chakra and energy meridian systems can become cleared and energised by working on releasing trapped energies from our

many past incarnations, most of which we have no conscious memories of, though the traumas may still be stored within us.

Whenever we release pent-up emotions and negative energy, we feel a surge of energy as our stored potential energy is released. This energy flows through our body, energizing our ethereal field and elevating our level of consciousness, which naturally shifts how we comprehend life in more positive and holistic ways.

This is why we must not fear our emotions or keep them held down or suppressed, as I have explained throughout this course.

Now, though this is just my story, however, my experience supports that something like this is seemingly happening – though I could never know the truth as nature is just too complex and powerful to comprehend!

So, in summary, all I am asking you is, what does reality mean to you? And can you dream a new dream within yourself – so your inner subjective reality can be a beautiful place regardless of what is happening in the objective outer reality? And can you find the courage to become all you can be?

Might you borrow my model to see what happens when you view yourself from these six perspectives? Of course, there is no right or wrong way; just you finding the right way for yourself.

Thank you all, and I’ll get working on the next video.