Part 5/5: Exploring Unconventional ERP Techniques for Persistent Anxiety and Trauma

Introduction to the Final ERP Segment

I’m John Glanvill, author of The Calmness in Mind Process for Overcoming Anxiety, OCD, and Depression.

Welcome – I’m John Glanvill, and this is Video 50 – part 5/5 – in my Calmness in Mind series – where (today) we explore some (not so) common-sense solutions for your calmer life.

This is the final part of my ERP mini-series, and I’ll be discussing what options are available if you’ve tried all the mainstream scientific techniques but still feel exhausted, anxious, or depressed.

Because, if you have looped around all of my videos two or three times – and if you’ve tried all the pharmaceutical choices, and if you’ve explored all psychological options and if you are eating well, exercising, taking sleep seriously, and you’re on top of your housing, family, work, and all your relationship issues.

And if you’ve found the space to recharge your six-month emotional energy battery – and learned the art of managing this buffer of energy wisely and in line with your desires and chosen intentions.

And if you finally love yourself and are happy being you – and you still have anxiety – then what else can you do?

Expanding Perspectives Beyond the Brain and Body

So, that’s where we are going today with this video, which I’ve called…

How might we apply Exposure and Response Prevention to concepts we currently doubt might be true, just in case they are true and actually contain the solutions we unknowingly desire?

Up until now, we’ve been focusing on our brain and body – so perhaps we now need to expand our perspective to include our Soul and the Universal field of energy our Soul is connected to – even if (for some) this might make their logical left brain intellect feel uncomfortable?

So, let’s discuss how we might enhance our right-brain capabilities to explore perspectives more common in Eastern (or Spiritual) cultures, which suggest that we are Souls having a human experience and are closely linked to the energy and wisdom of the Universe, which is not commonly taught in the Western world.

Exploring Energetic Connections

So, I would like to explore techniques that might allow us to increase those natural flows of energy between ourselves, other people, nature, and the Universe.

And to find ways we might (metaphorically) discharge our atomic energy battery (as I discussed in video 9) from all the emotional landmines, repressed traumas, and trapped energies – thus allowing us to become less dense and vibrate at a higher frequency?

And so, to do this, might we become more open to considering concepts such as Karma, blocked chakras, energy meridians, ancestral influences, parasitic energetic forms, past life experiences, and egregores, which are energetic attractor fields which can transmit information and influence people (seemingly) outside of their awareness.

Like when people say, “I’ve no idea why I did that; it didn’t seem silly at that time; I just don’t know what came over me!”

Could it be that we are being affected by energetic forces (outside of our conscious awareness), much like an iron filing wouldn’t realise it was being influenced by a magnet, a tidal river doesn’t realise it’s being influenced by the moon, or sand on a metal plate might not realise it’s being affected by frequency?

Understanding Our Energetic Nature

Remember, we are not made of flesh and bones – our flesh and bones are made of atoms, which are made of energy – and energy can carry information.

And if we dig deeper, it gets really cool because we encounter quantum stuff, like quarks, wavicles, and things that jump in and out of dimensions – and can be in two places at the same time.

They can even become entangled and instantly mirror another’s movements over any distance across the universe, faster than the speed of light.

And they can collapse from being a wave in the sea of probability into a particle of actuality, influenced by the intention of an observer.

So, it’s evident to me that we are both a 3D Newtonian creature of this planet, as well as an energetic Quantum Soul intrinsically connected to (and in communication with) the rest of the Universe.

Therefore, not only am I John from England, but I’m also an energetic, formless, immortal point of conscious awareness, swimming in a sea of intelligent energy, along with eight billion other blobs of energy, on a ball of intelligent energy, flying through space filled with gazillions of other intelligent balls of energy all connected by a sea of energy called space, which is full of energy.

And wherever energy meets energy (which is everywhere), information can be transferred – and this is how (I think) metaphysical realms might work.

The Brain as a Quantum Transmitter and Receiver

It’s my guess that (over and above) what we know our brain can do in this material plane – it also acts as a quantum transmitter, broadcasting out our intentions (or our prayers) to others and the Universe.

It also acts as a quantum receiver – capturing and decoding the information broadcast from nature, those around us, and perhaps other Universal sources.

And each person’s brain has a unique access level to all of the universal information – according to their current level of consciousness and the function they provide to nature in this lifetime – whether they are aware of that purpose yet – or not!

From this new perspective, might you see that it’s not that hard to imagine the concept of an intelligent universe and how it might simplistically function?

Sharing a Transformative Journey

So, this video is really what this whole course has been leading up to, me sharing (with you) my incredible journey and all the crazy things that happened to me.

None of which I can explain, but which have been so life-changing and incredible that I’ve wanted to capture every detail so those who choose to follow this path can build upon what I’ve found and pass that on to others, too, as they figure more of it out.

Everything I am about to share with you, I believe in, and, in as much as, I can’t give you hard evidence that it’s true – you’ll be very hard-pressed to give me any hard evidence that it’s not true!

However, it is the truth of the eye-opening, inner reality experiences I’ve had.

So, this is the video where I say – What if there is a whole other dimension out there interacting with us that our intellect may resist considering – even though – from the beginning of all recorded history, people all around the world have been writing about and discussing such concepts.

Overcoming Logical Resistance

Years ago, my therapist and mentors encouraged me to explore these paths of study, but I resisted due to my logical left-brain tendencies needing proof, and I would estimate that this delayed my emotional growth by at least five years.

Therefore, it would be remiss of me not to share my experiences with you.

Keep an open mind and don’t let your beliefs limit your ability to explore new concepts. Remember that what you learned in school may not be the whole truth, so always be willing to challenge your memory and assumptions.

In fact, my favourite Dr Hawkins quote is – “Memory is the recall of illusion as it compounds over the years!” And I just love that!

These days, I prioritise happiness over being right, and rules no longer give me security; they limit the opportunities available to me.

Plus, when something strange did work, I had to learn to drop my need to understand why – and simply enjoy the benefits from that success, regardless of how unconventional it may have seemed.

And finally, when I decided to trust in some Universal force beyond my understanding, it was immensely liberating for me.

Trusting the Universe and Letting Go

I learned that my responsibility was to keep taking action each day towards my intentions and to trust that the outcomes from those actions were the Universe’s responsibility, not mine.

Then, as my faith grew stronger, I realised that there were many responsibilities that I had taken on which weren’t even mine to begin with.

So, I was able to let them go because I understood that by potentially interfering in someone else’s life, I might be creating more Karmic problems for myself (and them); and I had to learn to trust there was a power that would guide and support them too.

Another surprising thing I learned was that even after I had discovered new things, my unconscious mind might still hold onto the old beliefs and stories that it had been programmed with.

For example, though I have been on a ketogenic diet for over a year and try to avoid sugars, therefore, I hardly eat any fruit – my unconscious brain still tells me I ought to be ‘eating my five a day’; such is the depth of its conditioning from the ‘science and the marketing’ it was repeatedly exposed to.

Sensibly, I’ve trained my brain to (consciously) ignore those old (echo) thoughts – as I can also now do with prior intrusive thoughts or negative self-conscious stories from my distant past.

Testing Unconventional Methods

Therefore, as I explored more and more unconventional (and alternative) methods – I had to temporarily suspend my old belief systems long enough to test these new theories out – no matter how hard my unconscious tried to sabotage me from taking action.

However, what I found and the significant (experiential) positive changes to my wellness – as a result of being able to release old traumas, clear negative energy blocks, and drop old conditioned responses (like guilt, fear, and doubt) made all this work incredibly worthwhile.

I’d also like to say that the knowledge I’m about to share is based on my personal experiences; however, I do not claim to specialise in this type of work.

I just wish to share my experiences (and thoughts) so you can decide if you wish to explore these concepts for yourself – or you can work with professionals who specialise in these more esoteric practices.

However, one of my intentions for the coming year is to secure enough funding for me to spend two or three years working with the best teachers around the world to acquire a more comprehensive knowledge of trauma release and energy work.

I would like to create a video series similar to this one, discussing my findings, so if anyone has the financial resources to help subsidise my dream so I can make it happen, that would be wonderful.

A Personal Experience with Past Life Trauma

So, let me give you an example of something that happened to me that I can’t explain, yet it resulted in me instantly feeling (at least) twenty per cent happier within myself.

A friend called me and said she had spent a few days with a woman who could read your aura, and from the information stored in it, she could tell you about past life traumas which may be affecting you in this life.

Of course, my initial thought was, “Really?” However, my friend is very intelligent, and she’d had a positive experience – so I took my own medicine – ‘Don’t believe your brain, John, check it out for yourself, get some real-world data – then your brain will know – rather than be guessing!’

So, a few months later, I went along, I sat in this woman’s kitchen, and she looked at me, then said, “You have a bubble of pain around your body, and you are reluctant to let people get close to you.”

She went on to say that in a previous life, I had been living in a log cabin in a remote part of Canada. My parents were very poor – she said that I was about two years old, and my parents were arguing in the house, and my father dragged my mother out of the house and then beat her to death in a very violent manner.

She went on to say – that I had followed them outside and had witnessed the event; then my father noticed that I had seen what happened, he dragged me back inside the log cabin and told me it was my fault and that I must never speak of the incident, and it was me that was to blame for his actions.

She added that – the trauma of that incident led to my becoming mute for ten years from believing it was my fault and fearing my father’s temper.

By this time, the lady was visibly quite distressed at what she had seen – and she asked me if I had any recollection of that memory in any way, and I said no.

So, I said, “OK, assuming that did happen, what might I do about it now in this lifetime to release any trauma caused in that previous lifetime?”

She said that our traumas get stuck in our bodies and our inter-dimensional energy fields and they need to be released. I said, “How might I do that?” And she replied, imagine yourself as that child witnessing that event.

She said to stay out of any judgment because you were just a child and didn’t understand anything – she said to mourn the loss of your mother, to forgive your father (as you may not be aware of the circumstances from his side of the story).

Then she said to imagine sending love, care, and support to that child – tell him it wasn’t his fault and that he was a good child (who had done nothing wrong) and that he was worthy of love.

She said, tell him it’s safe now (and appropriate) to let that pain out – tell him that you are a man now, you can look after yourself so he can let his guard down.

So, a few hours later, I lay on my bed, and (though I had no memory of that event) I tried to imagine it as best I could.

Initially, nothing happened, but after about twenty minutes of meditating on that story and trying to imagine what it might have felt like to experience that trauma and tell that child that he was beautiful and had done nothing wrong.

On my mind screen – I found myself as a tiny entity inside a vast red cave, symbolically feeling like I was inside a womb.

Then slowly, this feeling of dread and distress started to come towards me like a dark rolling cloud. And in this meditation, one part of me was thinking, cool, let’s get this trauma out, and another was thinking, I’m not sure I want to go here!

However, these days, my personal mantra is always to walk towards fear, so I sagged my body, surrendered to what was, and allowed that emotion to well up within me.

I began to sob and cry, and this emotional release went on for about twenty minutes. I tried to stay out of any analysis and just surrendered to those emotions coming up – and each time they subsided, I brought my focus back to the emotions and tried to help them rise back up again.

Emotion after emotion kept on flooding up, and I just let them happen and flow out of me (I didn’t resist them), and finally, after about thirty minutes, they stopped.

And in that moment, I was different. I instantly felt about twenty per cent happier within myself, much lighter and less dense – and this feeling has stayed with me.

Apart from Jen, I didn’t tell anybody what had happened, and when I met with the lady on the second day – she looked at me, smiled, and said, “You released it; well done; I bet that feels better?”

And she went on to give me another trauma from a different life, that was even more horrific! – But that’s a story for another video!

Now, to this day, I don’t know if what she said was true or not – but the point is – I don’t need to know – because, with that trauma (that I didn’t even know I had) released, I felt brilliant!

Perhaps that experience might explain why (though I had a wonderful father) in this lifetime – I had always found it hard to connect with him – and it was difficult for me to talk about my emotions as a child – who knows?

Just as interestingly, when Jen sat with the lady, she said, “Why are you here?” Jen said, “I don’t know?” And she replied, “I do. You are an artist, and I need an illustration for my next book; that’s why you are here!”

There and then, she commissioned Jen to produce a painting without even looking at any of her previous artwork!

Maybe nature (or the Universe) has plans for us and is always nudging us towards what it knows is good for us – which is why I try to say yes to every opportunity that comes my way.

Embracing Unconventional Processes

So, this is what I mean by trying new things and accepting that sometimes we might get powerful results, from seemingly unconventional processes.

Just take this course, for example; so many people have told me that it just inexplicably felt right for them, that my face kept popping up on their screens, or that something nudged them towards me, though their logical intellect couldn’t explain why.

It’s my guess that many people have resistance to exploring intangible inner reality concepts like this – because (as children) we were taught to focus our attention only on the external reality that was provable with logic and reason.

Although two people standing in an art gallery looking at the same (external objective) piece of art may have two differing internal subjective experiences – the truth is, it’s that internal subjective experience that is reality for each person – though they can’t be scientifically measured, they are both experientially true!

I hope I am making sense – we just weren’t taught to think like this when we were young.

Our outer realities of matter may operate in conventional Newtonian, linear, physical manners, whereas our inner reality of sense, fear, pain, creativity, and love seem to be more energy-based, non-linear, non-Newtonian, which is no less real – yet does operate very differently.

And – it’s my experience that when a person can pivot and view their predicament from this new perspective, this new mindset seems to facilitate the ability to separate the story from the trapped trauma within that individual, and when the story crumbles, that stuck energy is often released.

Addressing the Freeze Response in Anxiety

OK – let’s get back to talking about anxiety – by exploring a very overlooked anxiety phenomenon, which is the freeze aspect of the sympathetic – fight, flight, and freeze bodily response that affects about 15% of anxious people.

In those moments, their (typically) fast brain and body seemingly go into slow motion, a freeze frame kind of time warp where they feel paralysed within their body and brain – yet (seemingly) their Observer is unaffected and remains the witness of what is happening in both the inner and outer situations.

In this weird ‘time stands still’ moment, which feels like ten seconds in inner temporal time but is usually only a second or less in external conventional time, the person feels vulnerable; they assume that others can see what is happening to them (which they mostly can’t) and they jump to doubting their own capabilities.

Even though they instinctually know they are clever, intelligent, and capable – they phase out to some other place, and the feeling of being out of control (and the disassociation) tends to freak them out – so they try to avoid situations that trigger this detachment, like social events, dating, public speaking, or whatever their unique trigger may be.

So, what’s going on?

Well, it’s my guess this response happens to people who have been subjected to above-average trauma – be that from sexual, physical, psychological, or rejection abuse – or from witnessing (or being) violently attacked, receiving traumatic wounds, or being in very scary incidents or painful accidents.

I think it is on the PTSD end of the trauma scale.

Wars, fights, rape, attacks, car crashes, fires, bullying, parental deaths, robberies, muggings, police incidents, murders, and horrific things like this.

Terrible events where (biologically and psychologically speaking) it made sense for the brain to dissociate from the pain and fear of what was happening – or to push those memories back to the furthest parts of the brain, to almost forget they happened – then to set up an instant brain alarm, whereby if any situation similar to that initial event begins to unfold – the body would instantly jump to the perceived safety of that detached frozen state.

Of course, that alarm is regulated by the amygdala (as we have discussed many times), and it works by pattern matching back to that first event – be that by a smell, a type of person, a type of place, a specific sound, or a behaviour pattern.

Also, (for some people), it’s important to acknowledge that their trauma may have happened as a baby, like in birth traumas, abuse, rejection, separation anxiety, animal attacks, watching scary movies, and parental altercations.

In these instances – they have no way of consciously remembering (or interpreting) those events – however, the energy of that trauma was still stored within their body, along with a trained tendency for hyper-vigilance – I talk about my experience of this at the end of video 46.

Techniques for Releasing Trauma

So, if you are experiencing these freeze (or trance out) moments – here are some suggestions for you to try.

Firstly, if you can identify the trauma which seemingly may have started this off – then you might try a meditation much like the one I described earlier for that child who watched his mother being attacked.

With the view not to blame, understand, or analyse but to allow any emotions to come to the surface and be cried, shaken, acted, or shouted out.

Then, the next time you revisit that meditation, change the ending of the story to have more closure even if it is not the truth of what happened – because what we want to do is release the ‘muscle memory fear’ from the body that was trapped at that moment.

Let me give you some examples – If you were bullied and couldn’t run away as you were trapped, imagine yourself running away and really feel that motion in your legs – or even jump up and run out of your room.

Perhaps imagine yourself fighting back and physically punching the air or a cushion around you.

If, in your trauma, you couldn’t speak up – then imagine yourself saying what you’d wished to have said – even shouting it out as part of shifting that blockage.

If you were abused, you could imagine telling that person what you wish them to know – and tell them that you will no longer be a victim of that past event; you will rise above it, become stronger from it – and see yourself confidently walking away from them as that child.

Of course, those traumas were terrible – but remember, in our new inner reality, we can make our experiences far better than they may have been in our external reality – remember, our brains and bodies are trickable.

Reframing Trauma with Karma and Forgiveness

One inner reality concept that helped me enormously to let go of and accept my past (and all the world’s corruption and lies) is the Eastern concept of reincarnation and Karma.

Where they say there is a cause-and-effect process by which good actions breed more good actions, and bad actions bring about more harmful ones back to you.

Once again, though I can’t prove this to be true – but I love the concept that through an individual’s actions (or in-actions) – they are self-accountable and experientially will pay for their harmful actions (or receive good ones) in this, or their next incarnation here in Earth school.

I like this concept as (for me) it removes the notion that there is a vengeful God judging me – no, I am responsible for myself; however, I will benefit from my good actions.

This means (to me) that even if a person ‘seemingly’ was not reported, caught, or legally punished for their bad actions, (ultimately) no miscarriage of justice is possible because the Universe doesn’t let anybody ‘get away’ with anything in the long run.

This story works well in my inner reality. When bad things happen to me, if I get sick, hurt myself, or lose something or somebody, I sit with the pain of the loss, I let the emotions move through me (as best as I can), I stay out of my brain’s stories, and I imagine that this event is my karmic payback.

I am paying back my Karma from some previous indiscretion in this life or prior ones – and with that Karmic offset, it allows me to raise my levels of consciousness.

Perhaps we get abused in this lifetime as we were the abusers in our last life, so (when seen from this new perspective) it may have been in our Karmic favour to receive that abuse as it rebalanced our scales – all we need to do is drop our old negative stories of it.

Of course, I can’t prove this to be true – but if I were nature (or God), I wouldn’t want to judge people – I’d make it so they get back what they give out – things would be self-regulating until that person could discover that being kind and loving is so much more rewarding.

This is why (for me) forgiveness is so powerful; we don’t forgive others for what they did; we forgive them so we don’t have to keep running those old stories in our heads and reliving those old painful traumas time and time again.

Practical Techniques for Freeze Moments

OK, another action you can take if you feel a freeze moment coming on or you are trying to break out from one – is to fake a yawn with a big stretch that crosses your arms over your head – a bit like this… (Action)

Mammals only seem to yawn when it is safe to sleep – if there were wolves outside scratching at your door, you wouldn’t be yawning; you’d be in high-alert mode.

So, by yawning, we are tricking the body by implying, ‘It’s safe out there’ – plus, that deep breath resets the parasympathetic nervous system and crossing your arms causes both sides of the brain to engage.

Advanced Methods for Trauma Release

OK then, let’s get back to discussing releasing trapped trauma or stuck energies – and bringing more concepts onto the table – and the first one is called EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing.

Put simply, if you watch a person as they talk, their eyes will look to the side, up to one corner, or down to another, depending on whether they are remembering something, recalling how they feel about a topic, or accessing their memory to recall what somebody might have said or done.

It seems that where our eyes move to – is part of a brain link to access creativity, imagination, or our memories – therefore, if you can find a skilled practitioner, they can take you through a process which seems to disrupt (or break) the well-worn neural association paths to past traumas. Hence, those memories become less sticky and often stuck emotions are discharged too.

So, I think EMDR is certainly worth trying.

Exploring Kinesiology and Muscle Testing

Now, because this video is a weird one (and an honest one), I will share with you one of the biggest struggles I’ve had from everything I learned in the last twenty years.

It’s the topic of kinesiology, or (as it’s more commonly known) muscle testing.

Whereby a question is asked, and the body is tested to see how it responds to that information by remaining strong or becoming momentarily weak.

The implication is that our body senses what is good for it, which makes it strong, and it can sense what is bad for us, which makes it temporarily go weak.

Thus, this method can be used as a yes/no test technique to see what is life-affirming or life-limiting.

Now, initially, I thought that was a bit silly; however, if you factor in esoteric and Eastern philosophies that talk about something called the Akashic records – whereby every person’s actions, words, and thoughts leave an accessible record in non-physical etheric realms, it makes a little more sense.

Many years ago, I struggled with concepts like this; however, after experiencing downloads of knowledge myself and spending time with people with extraordinary gifts, I was soon convinced.

Also, if Karma is real, there would need to be a record of all actions in all lifetimes to ensure its honest self-regulation – so this made sense, too.

So, do we human beings have an automatic (and innate) connection to nature which informs us of what will harm us and what will enhance us outside of our primary five senses and our thinking brain?

Surely nature would have a mechanism whereby all its creatures could be aware of (and able to) sense what is safe and what is dangerous – especially the ones with tiny brains and no language abilities – because how else could they survive?

Now, any of you who have started to read Dr David Hawkins’s books, you’ll be familiar with kinesiology – and all I can say is, as wacky as it seems – and as much as I can’t explain it – it works for me.

It’s very nuanced – and you need to experiment with it – but if kept simple, it’s an incredible tool you can use in two main ways.

Firstly, to check what is good for you over and above what your brain might be telling you – because, as we know, the brain is very often wrong or influenced by guilt, cultural influences, or trying to please others rather than guiding you to what might be energetically (or biologically) best for you at any moment.

For example, I will often hold in mind a potential new client and ask my body, “Will it be in my best interest to work with them?” If my body goes strong, I take them on, and if it goes weak, I try not to.

I don’t need to know why – and it doesn’t mean I can’t help them; it just means that overall, it won’t necessarily be in my best interest, therefore, a misuse of my precious energy.

Also, by referring to Hawkins’s map of consciousness, you can see the types of mindsets that are high energy and keep you strong and the low energy ones that deplete you biologically.

And secondly, it can be used to get feedback from the non-verbal parts of your unconscious brain and body. So you can ask your body if it’s holding a trauma and from which time of your life it was installed.

Using the Standing Sway Test

For me, the simplest way to begin to play around with kinesiology is via the standing sway test.

What you do is stand up, relax your body, and ask yourself a question that will elicit a yes (or a not yes) answer.

Like, “Is my name John?” – then the body will very gently (and very subtly) sway a tiny bit forward in confirmation (if your name is John) and just stay still if it’s not.

We can expand the questions to ask – “Am I holding trauma in my body?” And if the answer is yes, we might ask, “Did that trauma occur before the age of ten?”

If the response is no, you might ask, “Did it happen before the age of twenty?” And if that prior response was yes, you ask, “Did it happen over the age of five?”

And then you home in on the age, and my experience is that (usually) you can find the answer within an eighteen-month window of accuracy.

Let’s say the answer was seven years old; we might ask, “Did this trauma happen at school, at home, whilst out playing – or did it come from person x?”

We can also ask, “Was the trauma from the birth process?” Or was the trauma received whilst forming in pregnancy from a trauma your mother received?”

Now, personally, I wouldn’t dig around too deep; because finding answers is not going to help – we just need to free that blockage, drop any stories, and get on with life.

Practical Methods for Trauma Release

Once you have found a blockage, you have a number of options available to you, and I suggest you try them all to see what happens.

Firstly, we have the meditation I suggested earlier, where we imagine what might have happened and sit with that pain until the emotions arise.

Secondly, we can use the tapping from video eight, “Even though that terrible thing happened (when I was seven), I love and respect myself and ask my body to safely release those emotions as I am an adult now and can handle it!”

Thirdly, there’s a book by Dr Bradley Nelson called The Emotion Code where he takes you through a simple process that helps you to identify not only when the trauma was introduced, but also, where it is being held in your body, then guides you to release that trauma via the use of magnets.

Personally, I found his process (though strange) to be very effective – plus, it can be done remotely to you by an Emotion Code practitioner if you don’t have the time to learn how to apply kinesiology to yourself.

Ayahuasca and Psychedelic Experiences

The most powerful automatic and natural way to release trauma that I found was through the use of Ayahuasca.

I discussed in detail (back in video 46) my experience of visiting the Amazon rainforest to take the plant medicine Ayahuasca, which is a natural psychedelic made from plants.

I won’t go into too many details here – except to say it was one of my most life-changing experiences. Also, it’s a natural process ranging back thousands of years – it’s nature’s free (and original) psychopharmacology.

Under the influence of this medicine, hidden memories from my childhood were retrieved, and the associated trauma from them was immediately (and automatically) purged from my body.

One particular purging event went on for about an hour, and it felt like I might die from all the energy escaping from my body through vomiting, shaking, and shouting.

However, once it was over – I felt totally different, and the depression that I had been fighting all my life was simply gone – that energy form had been ejected out of me – that was nine years ago, and I am still wholly depression free.

Though I can’t prove this – my personal experiences have led me to believe that various forms of energy, such as trapped trauma, stuck energy, or inter-dimensional entities we may call demons or the Jinn, may feed off our low-energy fears and negative victim stories.

It’s my guess these energetic entities – which I simply (and non-emotionally) label as Riders – because they parasitically feed from our energy and cause much of our problems with addictions, procrastination, and other self-sabotaging behaviours.

I would recommend an Ayahuasca ceremony run with doctors, psychologists, and native shamans. It can be a very powerful experience.

My last comment on this is that many people say to me, “Oh, I could never take drugs,” – whilst at the same time they are on anti-depressants and beta-blockers – these riders seem to be able to cleverly distort the story you tell yourself to stop you taking actions that might result in their demise!

Ketamine Therapy for Depression and Anxiety

Now, another process that really impressed me is the use of the anaesthetic Ketamine to treat depression and anxiety – more and more clinics are opening up that are licensed to offer this form of therapy (or treatment).

I don’t know why it works although I do have some non-scientific guesses based on my experience and talking to many clinicians licensed to use it.

Metaphorically speaking – I think there are four main ways to comprehend what might happen. Once again, these are not very scientific, but what if science can’t (or isn’t able to) measure these things?

Firstly, as an anaesthetic, Ketamine not only numbs your body and five senses, but also your overactive, logical, and overthinking prefrontal cortex. With this analytical aspect of your brain out of the way, things can be seen differently, and memories (or new understandings) can be released from the unconscious mind.

Secondly, most people with anxiety have very controlling natures and hate feeling out of control of their thoughts or feelings – and as I’ve been trying to tell you since video three, there is very little you can truly control.

Therefore, being courageous enough to try this is a huge step forward for them in learning how to let go of the ‘story’ – that they are in control of anything!

Thirdly, with the body and thinking brain mildly anaesthetised, you finally get to experience what it feels like to be the non-verbal Observer – or what we might call your formless energetic Soul, the rider of your horse – because (seemingly) you can’t anaesthetise your Soul.

However, if the body is anaesthetised down to complete unconsciousness, like prior to an operation, I believe the Soul can’t handle that low-frequency density, so it has to jump to another higher-frequency dimension until the body is brought back up again where it can return.

It’s my guess this is why so many reports of out-of-body experiences or near-death experiences occur during intense trauma or whilst having operations.

Once again, I don’t think we should fear these events; in fact, I think quite the opposite. I take a lot of comfort from my out-of-body experiences and astral planning meditations – or times I am more aligned with my Soul than my form.

Can you see how these concepts may be hard for our logical, science-based brains to initially believe – though they can make sense when viewed through a more energetic lens?

And finally, it’s my experience that whilst under the influence of the Ketamine infusion, if the individual does breathwork to increase their energy field (and thus the frequency they vibrate at), sometimes these energetic riders (or trapped traumas) may be released as they can’t handle high frequencies – so are forced to move through your body and out via your breath or through your lymphatic or sinus systems or directly through your body.

Once again, though this may feel scary initially, it soon just becomes a process that you can relax into and accept. You let it happen to you rather than forcing it.

And remember, I’m not advising you to do these things; I am not offering you any medical advice – I am just talking about my experiences and the metaphors I use in my head to make my subjective inner reality as pleasant as possible – regardless of what is happening in my external objective reality which mostly I can’t control, nor actually wish to.

Understanding Chakras and Energy Flow

Another concept I struggled to accept (until I experienced it in action) was the concept of Chakras – wheels of energy within my auric field that allow for the flow of energy from the Universe into me through my meridians and acupuncture systems.

It’s said that these wheels seemingly get blocked and stop spinning as they become clogged up from stuck energy, trauma, and riders – thus leaving us tired and low frequency.

What changed for me – was, in the Ketamine infusion state, where my five primary senses were (to some degree) numbed by the anaesthetic, I could actually feel some of them spinning, and often (as a rider was ejected), the spin would increase and I could sense the frequency of my body rise as energy was pulled into me from the air around me – or perhaps, even from another dimension?

Once again, who knows? – And I don’t need to know – but, I do know that it made me feel much better.

This experience led me to become more interested in what the Chakras are and what they do – however, as I said at the beginning of this video – I don’t want to teach these things, but I am interested in using them on myself.

So, if this interests you – I think, the most common sense explanation of this inexplicable subject was from Caroline Myss in her book Energy Anatomy. And, when you’re ready, I think it is certainly worth exploring.

Energy Attractor Fields and Consciousness

Another concept I struggled to accept initially but now have no doubts about – though I still can’t prove it – is the concept of energy attractor fields or, as they were called in the past, Egregores.

It refers to non-physical thought forms or the energy caused by the collective thoughts of a distinct group of people.

This concept allows my brain to accept concepts like Dr David Hawkins’s Map of Consciousness, where he hypothesises that each person, by their current energetic density (and frequency), is energised to (and governed by) an attractor field that controls how that person thinks, behaves, and experiences life.

I think this is why most anxious people think and behave in similar ways, as do prideful or depressed people, but also, why hopeful, optimistic, and loving people act in similar ways too. They are unknowingly being influenced by the Universal energetic attractor field of that level outside their conscious awareness.

It’s like a person thinks they have free will, but it is only as accessible as that particular energy field will allow them to be.

This would also explain why the same animals in differing countries act similarly – are they connected to a global energy attractor field for that species? I guess it might also explain why schools of fish move as one, as do a murmur of birds.

Therefore, if a person would desire to upgrade to higher levels of consciousness – it wouldn’t be about understanding their current plight.

It would be about releasing trapped energy and riders, then thinking and acting to suit the next level of consciousness above their current level as I discussed in video 37.

The Universe can then see you can handle more – so it upgrades you to the next level, where you instantly access more energy from that field, and your quantum brain receiver can access higher thinking perspectives.

Now, I’m not nutty – I know this sounds mad, but I have (experientially) found this to be true. So, you might wish to check it out.

But, remember, your riders will be trying to sabotage you at every step of the way to try and stop their demise! Can you see how this new perspective might be very empowering?

Once you can think in these more energetic manners, you access the opportunity not to be swept up by them – we have seen Egregores in action in the last few years – where energy fields sweep around the world like Black Lives Matter, Me Too, Woke perspectives, the pandemic, and vaccinations.

It takes a lot of courage not to be swept up by one of these attractor fields – to stand your ground and do what you intuitively feel is best (even if it goes against everybody else who’s caught up in that invisible energy field).

Navigating Post-Anxiety Numbness

And I’d like to finish with another perspective – it is my experience (from working with so many people) that often, as people overcome their anxiety and sort their lives out, rather than feeling wonderful, they just feel numb and alone.

I went through this phase (perhaps fifteen years ago) – I didn’t feel bad, but neither did I feel fantastic – I just felt neutral – and because I had been spending so much time studying and trying everything, this disappointed me.

I was also very frustrated that although I was exploring a more spiritual life, I wasn’t having (at that time) any ‘spiritual’ experiences that would prove to me that all the effort was worth it.

I wanted to believe in an intelligent Universe – but it was clear I was a seeker rather than a true believer.

A Transformative Retreat Experience

Then, back in 2011, I went on a week-long meditation retreat in America – and after a few days, I awoke one morning feeling absolutely amazing and blissful, and my brain was totally silent – and though my brain was silent, I had a non-verbal knowing (an awareness) of everything that was happening around me.

All problems in my life were just accepted, and everything and everybody was just perfect as they were; I didn’t need anything from anybody.

As I met up with the others for breakfast – I couldn’t eat because I was just completely overcome with love for everybody. I couldn’t even speak as each time I tried, I just became emotionally overwhelmed with joy and happiness.

That blissful state lasted for about six hours – where I just sat, totally incapacitated, and (to this day) it was one of the most beautiful (yet inexplicable) experiences of my life.

As that experience began to back off and my old self came back online – I sat with one of my friends, and she said, “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

I said, “Yes, what is it?”

And she replied, “It’s the Universe temporarily connecting you with a higher attractor field.

It’s a glimpse of what’s possible – to show you that all the effort is worth it – a peek at what is in store for you.

She said, “It seems that just when you want to give up, nature seems to step in to remind you why it is worth all the effort!”

Since then, and when I stopped being a searcher and started becoming a believer – I’ve had many of these incredible experiences.

And as the great teachers say – these higher fields of energy are always there in the background – you just need to let go of all your worry, drama, and trapped traumas – or put differently, raise your frequency to access them – they say, “Behind the clouds, the sun is always shining!”

Conclusion: Embracing a New You

So, my final point is – retreats and group therapy scenarios made a big difference to my mental health, emotional well-being, and social inclusion, and I certainly would advise people to check them out.

I hope you can see now why I am always saying you can’t overcome anxiety and remain the same person; it is by becoming a new person with which anxiety would struggle to reside; that’s the common sense approach.

My journey was unique, and I’m sure yours will be too. There is no right or wrong way to proceed; you just need to discover what’s right for you by trying everything rather than listening to the old stories in your head.

So, thank you – and good luck exploring life through this alternative lens of energy!