The Basic Mistake Most People Make When Doing ERP – The Negative ERP Trap

Introduction by John Glanvill, Author of The Calmness in Mind Process for Overcoming Anxiety, OCD, and Depression

 Welcome – this is video fifty, part one – in my Calmness in Mind series – where we explore common-sense solutions for your calmer life.

Across my next few videos, I will focus on making the technique of ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) more understandable, practical, and demonstrable.

Understanding the Significance of ERP

This first video will discuss the basics of ERP, explaining its significance as an essential technique that redefines anxiety, and if you are not embracing it and applying it daily – then you haven’t even begun your true recovery.

Effective use of ERP will not only help you to dismiss unhelpful thoughts from your mind but also enable you to accept your body’s reactions to those old undesirable stories. At the same time, it will positively update your unconscious mind’s belief systems with new, optimistic, and loving attitudes towards yourself and life.

Common Misconceptions About ERP

However, it’s my experience, from over two decades of working with very complex anxiety, that when you mention ERP, half of those with complex anxiety say, “I already tried ERP and it didn’t work”, and the other half say, “ERP is just too scary for me to try!”

Therefore, neither group are applying this powerful change process seriously (or effectively)!

Because ERP is the fastest way out of anxiety – and it is the fastest way to change your life.

Yes, it’s awkward to do initially – and yes, it will force you to take more responsibility for your life – however, it is no less scary than living with anxiety and believing that there is no escape from it!

So, if you are not adopting a proven strategy for reducing anxiety – this means you were taught ERP incorrectly, you don’t understand it well enough to apply it daily – or you will be receiving some secondary gain from sabotaging your own recovery – such as – losing social housing or financial benefits.

Two Misunderstood Elements of ERP

I also believe there are two further (misunderstood) elements of ERP – and that is…

As the person does the exposure work and their fears begin to normalise – very often, the real challenges in that person’s life come to the fore, like having to leave home, get a job, overcome shyness, become more courageous, accept a disability, or face other realities of life that previously their anxiety stopped them from having to address.

And, I would suggest you label these challenges as discomfort – based on forcing yourself to change rather than calling them anxiety; they are just the natural distress that comes with taking responsibility for the outcomes of your new life – just as everybody else has to face in their lives.

The second element is subtle but important; it’s my advice that you practise ERP directly on tasks which change your life rather than focusing on your existing anxiety or OCD fears.

Let me give you an example; rather than waiting until you overcome your social anxiety to apply for a job – apply for a job – which will then force you to address your social anxiety – plus, you’ll be hanging out with new people, learning new skills, and earning money which will certainly move your life forward.

Can you see that applying ERP to actions that will advance your life will always be faster and more sensible than focusing ERP only on your existing symptoms?

The Power of Retraining Your Brain

Know this: it is possible to retrain your unconscious brain, it is possible to handle any discomfort in your body, and it is possible to change the negative stories (or beliefs) you have about yourself!

Yes, it will take a lot of work – but, I am here to tell you it is absolutely worth the effort.

The Negative ERP Trap

However, to apply ERP effectively I must teach you about the biggest anxiety trap that most people unknowingly fall foul of…

Which is… ERP is clearly divided into two categories – one which works and the other which makes anxiety worse!

Positive ERP

So, firstly, we have Positive ERP – whereby a person steps into their existing fears whilst resisting doing any avoidance or anxiety prevention routines – this process, with repetition, retrains and normalises their brain’s hyper-sensitive (and erroneous) fear responses.

It also encourages that person to accept bodily discomfort and supports them to implant a new, more positive ‘story’ about that old fear – for example, the story, “I must wash my hands in case they have germs on them” might become positively changed to, “My natural immunity will keep me safe!”

Most people can accept that (though hard) this is a very sensible path to follow – assuming that accepting discomfort rather than avoiding anxiety is that person’s new primary intention.

Negative ERP

The second type of ERP is referred to as Negative ERP. It involves a person constantly narrating negative stories to themselves about their existing fears and continuing to apply their avoidance routines or compulsions – which only reinforce their exaggerated and hypersensitive brain responses and emotional overwhelms.

Plus, the negative story they have about themselves keeps being reinforced. For instance, a person who fears flying may continue to tell themselves that “planes are scary,” which only reinforces their phobia.

I hope you can see what I am pointing to – ERP done negatively causes and reinforces anxiety, and ERP done positively (and repeatedly) reverses that process.

Both are ERP, but most people with anxiety and OCD can’t see they already do this Negative ERP daily as it’s their current ‘normal’ thinking and behaving process – though very destructive.

The Power of Placebo and Nocebo

It’s like I detailed in video 43, where I discussed the power of placebo and how a positive thought or belief can positively affect the body (regardless of its truth) and how a negative thought or belief can negatively affect the body (regardless of its truth) and in that instance we call it nocebo!

One is good for you – and the other is bad – such is the power of a belief system on your body, irrespective of the truth of that belief!

Even though science can prove this is true – anxious people still cling to negative beliefs, which cause their bodies to have negative responses which tire them out and cause them to avoid anything that triggers those fears!

This must be reversed, and that is what Positive ERP does – or perhaps we should just call it what it is – a simple and effective new placebo story!

So, step one of the Calmness in Mind Process is to dump the phrase ERP and switch to using the concept – “Am I consciously and optimistically placebo-ing my brain and body into new positive states?”

Or (at least) to recognise, “Am I unknowingly Nocebo-ing my brain and body to remain in negative and fearful states?”

You are probably already an ERP expert – but you unknowingly learned to use it in the wrong direction, thus reinforcing your anxiety rather than reversing it!

Simplifying ERP as a Positive Placebo

Now, sorry if this is too simplistic, but it’s true – and I am always amazed that conventional psychology makes change so difficult and neglects the most powerful (and free) philosophy of a positive placebo story and changing old negative belief systems.

Or, if we simplify it even further – the ability to learn how to try new things whilst retraining the body to accept discomfort – then repeating those behaviours until the unconscious brain updates its old negative story to become a positive one!

The process is simple – just nobody taught you how to do this when you were young, and as an adult, you’ll doubt it will work – though it absolutely does (but only if you embrace it and repeatedly apply it!)

The DESIRE Acronym for Positive ERP

So, let me introduce you to my DESIRE acronym which will help guide you towards Positive ERP actions.

Decisions

The D stands for Decisions.

You must decide to follow the path of Positive ERP (or placebo, and decide to stop believing your Negative ERP (or nocebo), which works equally well – just in the wrong direction!

You must also become more decisive in your life – your decisions must become orientated towards the intentions you have for your life, not your thoughts or feelings about your anxiety or OCD.

And remember, there are no right or wrong decisions – because it is only after you have made a decision and taken action that you will know if it worked or not.

Plus, remember, your past is not making your future – it is only what you do in this moment called now that will influence your future life experiences.

Exposure

The E stands for Exposure to a positive action; you must move towards challenging your fearful thoughts rather than arguing with them or believing them.

For example; if the thoughts want you to wash your hands – you move towards not washing them.

If the thoughts say you might harm someone, you move towards that person.

If the thoughts say you can’t touch something, you move towards touching that object.

If the thoughts say you can’t apply for that job – you apply anyway.

This courageous (rather than timid) attitude is a game changer – and remember, feeling vulnerable yet still taking action is the definition of courage – regardless of the outcome of any action you take.

Sensing and Surrender

The S stands for Sensing and Surrender – You must consciously move your awareness from internal to external sensing – from what is happening within your body to what is happening outside of your body and in the environment around you.

Who am I negatively affecting? What action in this moment will expand my life? Is my perceived inner fear actually happening in my outer reality?

You’ll soon see that everything externally is OK; it just is what it is; it might not be what you like, but it is what it is…. Remember, it’s easier to adjust your internal perspectives by just ignoring them – than it is to control external life.

Then, begin to develop the courage to surrender to that which is out of your control; we can learn to accept that people will do stupid things, economies will fluctuate, and people will pass away – this is how it has always been, and we don’t need to do a lot of drama to fight it – we can courageously surrender and accept it.

Ignore and Invert

The I stands for Ignore and Invert – Ignore your unrequested unconscious thoughts and feelings – then consciously invert the story in your head from doubt and pessimism to one of trust and optimism (even if it’s not true).

My hands don’t need washing — of course, I can touch that door handle — I can love and hug that person.

You can switch a negative story of health anxiety into a positive one of natural immunity as I discussed in video 49 parts 1 and 2.

Repetition and Responsibility

The R stands for Repetition and Responsibility – Firstly, repetition of this new (walk towards the fear) behaviour and optimistic thought processes (over time) normalise them.

Secondly, explore if you are taking responsibility for expanding your life – or are you trapping through fear – or are you taking on too much responsibility for the lives of others around you?

Enjoyment and Energy

And finally, the E stands for – Enjoyment and Energy – Explore what you might be doing if you didn’t have your fear that would make your life more enjoyable. Then, start doing those things now, even though they currently might be scary – this is positive ERP in action!

Do you need to become more social? Do you need to go out more? Do you need some new hobbies? Do you need to move away from negative people?

This is why so much of my course focuses on helping you to discover who you really are and what you want from life, then how to courageously step towards that life without the old need for reassurance or certainty.

Reframing ERP as a Positive Placebo Story

Finally, work on changing your inner dialogue from negativity which is low energy, to optimism, which is high energy – as this is how you draw more energy towards your body as I discussed in video 37 and it retrains the brain’s Reticular Activating System as I detailed in video 18.

OK, then, in the next few videos, I will give you examples of how to do this, but for now, I’d like you to rewatch videos 8, 17, 18, 37, 38, and 43 and begin to reframe ERP into the wonderful things it is – a conscious positive (and optimistic) placebo story that optimistically talks you into engaging with life rather than fearing it.

Key Reminders for Effective ERP

And I would like to end this introductory video with a few important reminders.

Thoughts are not real – you just have a creative brain that has become conditioned to look for all the things that could go wrong – rather than all the things that might go right for you.

You have learned to doubt yourself and now it is time to start trusting yourself.

Feelings are just chemical reactions triggered by your thoughts and your hyper-sensitive amygdala – the amygdala can be desensitised, and the feelings can be accepted, then ignored.

To remove fear (which makes you avoid things), you must replace the negative story in your brain with a new positive one of what you do want, not what you don’t want in your life.

Remember, your brain and body are trickable – they were tricked into anxiety sometime in the past – and they can be tricked back into responding more calmly and optimistically too.

As you try new things, bear in mind that outcomes can’t be controlled but they can be influenced; nothing in life is certain, but taking action moves your life forward.

Change is inevitable and should be embraced.

New skills can be learned no matter what story your brain is currently telling you.

Taking Action with the Decision Making Document

And finally, I would advise you to complete my Decision Making Document, detailed in video 32, part 2 – as this will become the basis of your positive ERP story.

Decide what you want from life (or who you wish to become) – and then you consciously and optimistically keep talking yourself towards those actions, regardless of what your programmed unconscious thoughts say or how your body feels.

Conclusion and Next Steps

OK, in my next video, I will give examples of techniques and scripts you can use to transition from negative and anxiety-reinforcing ERP to positive and life-changing ERP.

If you are not already signed up for my anxiety recovery course, it can be found at www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist, where for a small monthly fee, you can access over 50 videos that will help give you the tools you need to find more calmness, courage, and confidence.