How do you want to be loved?

Do you know how you want to be loved?

So here is my thought for today…..

Do the people in your life love you the way you want to be loved?

Think about it. Do you even know how you want to be loved? Do you know how they want to be loved? Do you even know what love is?

So many questions… However, I think that experiencing love is something that (for many) is an important aspect of happiness and an emotion that we seek, so today I thought I would outline a few observation about this topic.

Three simple questions that may change the way you love

Just for fun, ask yourself the following three questions, actually write the answers down

1. Who is in front of me and how do (I think) they want to be loved?

2. Who am I and how do I want to be loved?

3. How can I train those around me to love me the way I want to be loved?

Because there are so many different ways people wish to experience love:

• Some want to be listened to
• Some wish to be protected
• some wish to be enabled
• Some wish to be told they are loved
• Some wish to see (by others actions) that they a loved
• Some need to receive presents
• Some need space and time alone
• Some need a constant connection
• Some need to be reassured
• Some need to be encouraged
• Some need physical contact
• Some need emotional contact
• Some need family around them
• Some need children
• Some need pets
• Some need food
• Some need adventure

The list goes on and on because we are all different.

The focus should be on the question, “How can I love them in the way they want to be loved?” Instead of assuming that everyone has the same needs, we should ask them how they prefer to be loved rather than simply guessing.

For example, imagine a caring daughter who arrives at her mother’s house for coffee. Upon arrival, the daughter says, “Let me make the coffee, Mum.” The mother replies, “No, no, I’ll do it.” Both women want to serve the other because it brings them joy and is their way of expressing love. However, one of them has to back down, resulting in one person not being able to express her love through this gesture.

This may seem like a simple situation, but it highlights a crucial point: we need to recognize these moments as they occur. In this example, the person with higher emotional intelligence might say, “Thank you, I’d love a coffee,” thus allowing the other person to express her love through that action. This, in itself, is a form of loving.

Another situation could involve a man who tells his wife, “I’ve done all the gardening because I know you love it neat and tidy.” Yet, what she truly wanted was to be held or listened to. Sometimes, we put in a lot of effort to love others, but we miss the mark regarding how they actually want to be loved.

Understanding how you want to be loved and gently communicating your needs can help others focus their love in a way that works for both of you. This process can also reveal any underlying issues in the relationship that need to be addressed or let go of.

If you’re interested in exploring the various aspects of understanding how people need love differently—based on factors like their upbringing, personality type, and many more—my course offers insights that can help you achieve a calmer, drama-free life.